Beautiful Trauma
by AliceAtHeart
Summary: Bella Swan was always a good girl. Even when she went off to college, she always did the right thing because it was expected of her. She joined the right sorority, had the perfect boyfriend, and got the grades she needed. She had always been content to live the life she was supposed to. That all changes when she meets the deliciously mysterious Paul Lahote... AU Paul/Bella
1. One: We were on fire…

**One**

 _We were on fire…_

* * *

Bella had never been much for parties. Maybe it was something she had gotten from her father, Charlie, or maybe they were just something she had grown to dislike on her own. Her mother, Renee, had insisted that they were essential to the college experience, and although Renee never went to college, Bella somehow did not doubt that she went to her fair share of parties. Even if Bella wanted to avoid this particular party, she couldn't. It was at _her_ sorority house – the one that Bella insisted on living in to save her parents money on a dorm room. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. She was never one for girlfriends or sleepovers, but why couldn't she start now? She was twenty years old, after all, and these were the kinds of connections and friends that would last a life time – or so the brochure said. The sorority, Alpha Chi Omega prided itself on academia, and they had a sworn aversion to hazing. All in all, Bella had thought it would be a good fit. For the most part, it was. She had met wonderful girls like Angela Webber, her partner in avoiding crime. Sure, like any society, it had its fair share of power hungry people at the top – in this case it was Lauren and Jessica. They were the ones that decided the 'small get together' would be good for Alpha Chi Omega. Their small get together had somehow evolved into a couple of hundred teens and young adults shoving their way into the house.

The music was nearly too loud – shaking the pictures of the founding sisters that hung precariously on the wall and over the fireplace. Every available flat surface was covered in cliché red solo cups and glass shot glasses that the youngest of the sisters, Bri, prided herself in collecting. Jessica and Lauren must have raided her room for them, something Bella was sure that Bri would be upset about come the following Monday when she returned from her parent's house.

Bella pushed her way through the swarms of unidentifiable body parts as the music seemed to thump loudly through her veins. She screamed when a hand caught her arm, but there was no chance of it being heard of the noise. Bella placed her free hand over her chest to calm her rapid heart as Angela smiled apologetically before leading Bella by the arm to a clearer section of what was once their living room. The DJ said something that Bella was almost sure wasn't even English, but the crowd cheered nonetheless.

"This is insane!" Angela screamed over the bass of the music, a half-empty cup in the hand that wasn't gripping her forearm. The slight blush across Angela's tanned cheeks told Bella exactly where the other half had gone. Bella had considered sending in an anonymous tip to the police, but she wouldn't be brave enough on her own, and it seemed her partner had deserted her. "Can you believe this is an Alpha Chi Omega party? We're going to be legends!" She cheered, hardly audible even though Bella was sure she was screaming at the top of her lungs. "Oh! Now I remember why I was looking for you!" Angela declared as she pulled Bella in close enough for her to smell the alcohol on Angela's breath. "Edward is here looking for you!"

Edward Cullen was the perfect boyfriend – on paper at the very least. He was smart, and handsome, and was a shoe-in for the premed program in the fall. He was one of the senior members of the Delta Kappa Phi fraternity. Bella still wasn't completely sure why on earth he had chosen _her_ , but she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Excusing herself from Angela, Bella attempted to make her way through the crowd once more. At one point, she nearly sighed in relief at the blare of police sirens before realizing they were overlaid on the repetitive track the DJ chose to play. As she passed a group of particularly sweaty students, she couldn't help but think that the chiffon of her favorite pink dress would hold the smell of smoke and alcohol for weeks – maybe indefinitely. Finally spotting Edward against the archway that led to kitchen with his frat brothers, Emmett and Jasper, Bella nearly smiled to herself.

Any relief she might have felt was snuffed out as something – no, _someone_ , that could have very easily double for a wall pushed past her, knocking her shoulder so hard that she nearly toppled over. The man, who she realized was the wall in question, placed a large, hot hand on her shoulder to steady her. Without so much as an excuse he turned to continue on his way when Bella grabbed a fistful of his worn leather jacket. "Aren't you even going to apologize?" She asked, her cheeks turning red in anger. She didn't want this party, and she didn't even know these people. At the very least, they could be respectful.

It was when the leather-clad wall turned that Bella realized her mistake. It was Paul Lahote – one of Brigeton University's supposed gang members. No one knew for sure if they were really a gang, but there were rumors. The guys kept to themselves, having gotten in on respective scholarships. They were all native and as tall as they were broad. There was talk of them using steroids, but that was just another rumor… Bella hoped. She had seen Paul in one of her classes during the previous semester, but he stayed in the back with his friend, never talking unless prompted by the professor.

Bella found that she nearly had to tilt her neck all the way back just to look at his face – and it was beautiful face – not that she would dare to say that out loud. He wasn't beautiful in the way a flower or a certain color was beautiful. He was rugged and worn, like a painting lost to time by a tortured artist that nobody quite understood or respected. When Paul's deep brown eyes, nearly black in the haze of low light and smoke, met hers Bella felt her breath catch. The air around them seemed to turn to static, and for one bliss-filled moment, the music and people seemed to die away. Her hand tightened slightly on the leather of his jacket, the smooth fabric molding to her touch before her fingers fell away. The only indication that their interaction had any effect on Paul was the slight furrowing of his brows as those endless pools of black moved fluidly over the curve of her cheek before landing on her eyes once again.

She was so wrapped up in the oddness of the moment, Bella hardly realized when Edward's arm draped protectively over her shoulder. Instead of looking to her boyfriend, she watched as Paul's gaze moved from Edward's arm back to her face. "We got a problem here?" Edward's voice seemed to bring the music with it, and suddenly, it was deafening again.

Paul didn't look to Edward. He didn't even acknowledge he had said anything. Instead, he leaned in, bending at the waist so that his face was only a foot away from Bella's. She was sure she felt Edward's arm tighten around her, but she was too distracted by the vibrancy of Paul's features as one corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile, his teeth impossibly white and straight. "Sorry." He said simply before straightening. He watched her for on a moment longer before turning and continuing on his way. Just as quickly as he had come, Paul Lahote disappeared back into the crowd, like a dream you couldn't quite remember fully upon waking.

Through the haze Paul Lahote left in his wake, Bella could just make out the sound of Edward's voice. Shaking the fog from her mind, she frowned as she tried to make out his words over the thumping of the music and her own heart. "Bella! Are you listening to me?" He spoke close to her face, trying to be heard over the music. "What was that about? He practically kissed you!"

The sound of disbelief and humor that bubbled past Bella's lips could only be heard by her. Shaking her head, she quietly wondered if Edward _really_ knew what kissing was. Sure, they had kissed and even made out, but being a preacher's son, Edward took his promise of celibacy very seriously where Bella was concerned. "He just apologized!" She justified. "That was the first conversation I've ever even had with him."

He didn't look like he believed her. She didn't know why, but Edward was always so possessive of her. Even with her childhood friend, Jacob. Bella and Jacob had grown up next door to each other, even attempting to date in middle school before realizing they were a horrible match. When Jacob got into Brigeton University a year behind Bella, she was ecstatic. Little did she know it was the beginning of the end for their friendship. First, Edward would never leave Bella and Jacob alone. It was like he expected Jacob to jump Bella the second he wasn't around. Then, Jacob met Sam's gang. Apparently, he and Sam were distant cousins, so Bella didn't think much of it when they started to hang out. Slowly, Jacob phased Bella out, blaming it on Edward and his time hanging out with 'the guys'. They hadn't really spoken much in the last year…

"I'm going to go get a drink." Edward finally sighed before turning from her. Bella attempted to follow, but Angela popped up in her path, restraining her with both hands on her arms.

"Is it true?" They girl asked excitedly over the constant blare of sounds that didn't come from any instruments Bella knew. "That Paul Lahote and Edward Cullen were fighting over you? Everyone is saying that Edward almost punched Paul!"

Bella laughed, porcelain brow furrowing. "No! What is it with people?" She asked, looking around to find that several sets of eyes were indeed on her.

"So, Paul didn't call Edward a scrawny pale-face?" She asked, a bit disappointed.

"No! Paul bumped into me and apologized. That's all!" Bella waved her arms, worried for Paul's reputation, though he didn't have a great one as it was.

"Now _that_ I find hard to believe." Angela giggled before spotting someone over Bella's shoulder, waving a quick hello before wordlessly leaving Bella's side.

Sighing to herself, Bella looked around the room, hardly able to see through the sea of people much taller than her. Spotting Jasper on the other side of the room where he was when she entered, Bella pushed her way to him. Out of all of Edward's friends, Bella liked Jasper and Emmett the best. Emmett was a goofball, but he was a good guy underneath it all. Everyone thought he was a dumb jock just coasting by on his football scholarship, but he was actually really smart. When Bella failed first year calculus, he tutored her for free until she pulled her grade up to a low A. Jasper was easy-going, and was always a good person to talk to. He didn't force his personal opinions on people, he just listened to their problems. His twin sister, Rosalie, was less likable. Bella had only had a few encounters with Rosalie Hale, but none were pleasant. She seemed to think because the library was named after her grandfather, she was campus royalty. Bella tried to avoid her most of time.

"Have you seen Edward?" She asked, looking around for any sign of him. "Where did Emmett go?" It was rare that she ever saw Jasper without Emmett or Emmett without Jasper. The two were best friends.

Jasper sighed, a large hand running through his corn-silk locks. "You'll hear about it eventually, so I guess it should be from me. Edward stormed off upstairs after his run in with Paul. When Emmett went to look for him, he found him in one of the rooms… with Rosalie."

Rosalie and Emmett had been dating since their freshman year. What Emmett saw in the blonde beyond pouty lips and long legs, Bella would never know. "What were they do- oh…" Realization hit her like a brick wall.

"I'm sorry, Bella. They left a few minutes ago…"

Bella frowned, her stomach clenching. Edward was… doing _that_ with Rosalie? He would hardly touch Bella and after one small misunderstanding, he _cheated_ on her? "I have to find him." She breathed as she moved away from Jasper. She needed to know the truth – to give Edward a chance to explain his side of the story, though she wasn't sure she wanted to hear it.

The night air prickled her skin like small needles. Whereas the thin dress had been perfect for the heat of the party, it was impractical for a New England fall. Still, as the noise of the party died away with each click of her polished heels, Bella couldn't bring herself to go back for a sweater. The Delta Kappa Phi house was only a few blocks away, anyway. Her steps slowed as the constant chatter and thumping from the party faded into the sounds of the gentle fall breeze and the crunching of fallen leaves. It was peaceful – nearly cathartic compared to the chaos raging on insider her mind. She didn't want to believe that Edward would cheat on her, especially not with his friend's girlfriend. He was a Christian after all. He had the highest morals of anyone that Bella had ever known. And her mother loved him! It was hard for Renee to love anyone, but she loved Edward. And Charlie… well, Charlie would come around.

"You shouldn't be out here alone." The deep voice from right beside her made Bella jump with a scream, nearly toppling her over before hot hands steadied her.

She hadn't heard Paul approach, and he had been right at her side. If he had been a rapist, she would be done for. Then again, how did she know he wasn't? She knew nothing about the man. "You scared the heck out of me!" She breathed, a hand over her racing heart that she swore had nothing to do with the dark, sultry chuckle that passed through the man's lips.

"Didn't mean to scare the _heck_ out of you." He teased lightly, a crooked, dimpled smile settling on his dark lips as he pocketed his hands. "But I meant what I said. You shouldn't be out here alone. Didn't you ever read Little Red Riding Hood?"

Bella's brows furrowed in frustration. "These aren't the woods, I'm not on my way to grandma's, and there are no wolves in Maine."

"There are." He countered simply, the smile dropping from his face. "Wolves, I mean. Gray ones especially."

Bella sighed, wondering why she seemed to be frustrated every time Paul popped up. It was his fault all this happened anyway. If he had just apologized like a normal human and walked away, Edward wouldn't have gotten mad. Folding her arms that were covered in goosebumps, she turned and continued on her way without a word – the way she should have done earlier in the night.

It only took Paul two long strides before he was at her side again. "What are you doing?" She asked, glancing sideways at him, but not giving him the curtesy of actually turning her head.

"I'm escorting you." He said simply. From the corner of her eye, she could see his lips twitch into a small smile. "It's not safe, and I want to be there when you kick his ass."

Bella stopped, turning her body fully towards Paul's. "I don't need an escort, and I'm not kicking anyone's… butt." She finished lamely. "How do you know where I'm going anyway?"

"I was there when your supposed boyfriend flew out of the house half naked with the slutty blonde." He eyed her carefully, those impossibly black eyes nearly swallowing her whole. She wasn't sure if it was his gaze or his words that made her stomach sink.

"You're wrong…" Even Bella could hear how weak her voice sounded. "He wouldn't…"

Paul frowned, those bottomless pools of black softening before looking away from her face with a sigh. He shrugged his large shoulders once, allowing the thick leather jacket to slide down his arms before tossing it around Bella's shoulders. She wanted to protest, but she _was_ cold, and the jacket was just as warm as his hands had been. It smelled masculine, like the woods in spring and an aftershave Bella couldn't quite place. "He's an ass." Paul said simply, his gaze turning down the empty street. "You shouldn't waste your time with a guy like him."

"I…" Bella wanted to protest, to stick up for Edward, but her head was confused, and her feet hurt. "I should go back… I need some... peace." She would talk to Edward in the morning, when her head was clearer and her heart wasn't as broken.

"The party will be going on a while." Paul offered, his eyes moving back to her face. He stood stoic for a moment, as tall and ridged as one of the street lamps that lit the profile of his angular face. "Come on." He nodded his head, stepping in the direction they had been heading. When he realized she wasn't following, he turned back to her with an impatient look.

"I'm not going home with you!" Bella scoffed, mentally cursing herself for leaving her phone at the sorority house.

He chuckled again, deep and nearly echoing in the silence of the night. "We're not going to my house, Swan. You want some peace and quiet, right?" When she nodded lightly, he jerked his head in his direction again. "Then come on."

Biting her lip, Bella weighed her options before slowly moving to his side. She wasn't sure where Paul was leading her, or why she was okay going off with a supposed gang member, but anywhere away from the mind-numbing party or with Edward was a better option. "If you murder me, I'll haunt you." She mumbled. Paul laughed outright this time, his wide shoulders heaving with the movement as those sparkling black eyes found hers. It was enough to make the corners of Bella's lips lift just the slightest bit.

* * *

 _AN: If you follow my All Roads story, then you already got a little taste of this chapter. This one is going to be ongoing and I plan for it to be long. I know people prefer longer chapters, so the time between chapters will be a bit of a wait, but I'm trying to make it more story-like in the sense that the chapters are long and not just because of filler bs. I was going to wait until All Roads was finished to begin posting this one, but I love it already and wanted to share the first chapter with you guys! Reviews are loved!_


	2. Chapter Two: I slashed your tires…

**Chapter Two**

 _I slashed your tires…_

* * *

Given the heavy chill in the air, Bella was surprised when Paul led her to the docks overlooking the ocean just a few blocks from the campus. His heavy leather jacket hung past the tips of her fingers, keeping her upper body warm against the abrasive wind. Glancing at the man nearly twice her size, Bella couldn't help but wonder how he wasn't cold in his simple black v-neck t-shirt. She knew that the polite thing to do would be to offer him his jacket back, but she _was_ cold. Rubbing her fingers along the outside of the cracked sleeves, Bella let her feet swing a bit from the edge of the dock, her shined heels neatly at her side. Paul hadn't tried to speak to her since they arrived, choosing instead to stare out into the endless blue of the ocean, the stars and low city lights creating luminous ripples that seemingly disappeared over the horizon. The silence probably should have made her feel awkward, even if it was what she had asked for, but it was… comfortable. After the first ten minutes, she had nearly forgotten what had drove her here in the first place. As damning as the evidence was, Bella decided to give Edward a chance to explain himself. After all, they had been together for too long for her to just end things, especially because before tonight, she had never had reason to doubt his loyalty to her.

"You're not supposed to be thinking that hard out here." Paul's deep rumble pulled her from her thoughts. Blinking back into the moment, Bella's brain all but shut down as she met those deep onyx pools. "This is a place to not think." He offered when she didn't say anything. The way his lips quirked into a nearly teasing smirk made Bella think he knew exactly why her tongue had deserted her.

"It's hard not to think. The only time I ever really forget about the real world is when I'm reading." She offered, turning her gaze back towards the ocean. The first hints of daylight were beginning to creep over the horizon, lightening the sky the slightest bit. "I'm an English major." She offered. The topic might have been cliché, but it was the best way to get to know someone on campus.

"Ah, the paperweight degree." Paul teased. When Bella's narrowed eyes met his amused expression, he held his hands up in mock defense. "Hey, I'm right there with you. I'm majoring in art." Bella felt the annoyance drain from her body as Paul leaned back to rest on his elbows.

"You any good?" She asked with a tilt of her head, meticulously curled ringlets falling over the raised collar of his jacket.

"Good enough. Better than some, worse than the greats." He gave her a crooked smile. "I've gotta paint a portrait for my final, and Professor Kesh is sick of seeing my asshole friends." His eyes moved over her face again – reminding her body how hot it had felt the first time he had done that just hours earlier. Suddenly, the heat inside his jacket was almost too much. Pushing the sleeves up to her elbows, Bella allowed her back to lay flat against the dock. "You should let me paint you."

Bella turned her head to find his face only a foot away from her own, no hint of teasing in his words. Why would he want to paint her? She was… unremarkable. Men painted pictures of beautiful women – women that inspired the psyche and sparked debates. "You want to paint me?" She asked a bit skeptically.

"Yeah. You have great bone structure." He offered as he looked back towards the lightening sky. "And your eyes are… complex."

Bella snorted as her _complex_ eyes traced Orion's Belt before seeking out the Little Dipper. "Brown is the most boring eye color on the planet. You should want to paint someone like Rosalie Hale. Her eyes are like sapphires." Which was probably why Edward was so quick to jump ship…

"Surface beauty is just that – surface." His voice took on a grizzly tone, like the subject upset him personally, though Bella didn't understand why. Paul was one of _them_. One of the beautiful people that probably thought it was normal to get hand outs and compliments on a daily basis. "If you want to see someone's true soul – their true worth, you have to look into their eyes. A simple glance can tell you their entire story if you just know how to see it."

Bella's head had lulled to the side as he spoke, her gaze tracing the slope of his crooked nose and the fullness of his lips, stopping at the stubble that line his angular jaw before those fathomless black eyes caught her own. Bella didn't want to see Paul's soul – she realized as her breathing grew shallow. The way he spoke, and the way he seemed to affect her without trying was dangerous enough. Part of Bella knew that for every layer of Paul that she uncovered, she would become more and more intrigued, and _that_ could not happen. She had Edward, and Paul wasn't the type of guy that liked girls like Bella.

"So…" His voice was a near whisper, heavy lids nearly breaking the spell his eyes seemed to have on her. "Will you let me paint you? I need to pass this final." He pushed lightly, though Bella was already leaning towards a yes.

"As long as you're not an inspiring Picasso."

He laughed deeply as he moved fluidly to his feet, as if gravity didn't affect him. Reaching down, he offered her a hand up, his fingers lingering on hers just a moment longer than necessary as she gained her footing with far less grace than he had. "More of a Monet." Thinking of what her face would look like skewed in splotchy water colors and no decisive lines made Bella frown. "Relax, Bella. I was kidding. I like realism. I think that human's possess enough character on their own. No need to skew reality."

As the sun broke the horizon, they turned their backs on the ocean, Bella slipping on her heels before following Paul down the rickety old pier and back towards the sorority house. She listened as Paul spoke of his favorite artists with a vigor she didn't know he was capable of, smiling lightly as his eyes lit up. It was always nice to watch people speak of their passions. It brought a light to being that nothing else could. As they reached her sorority house, Bella felt an odd twinge of disappointment that their time together would be ending, but it wouldn't be the last time she saw him. She had agreed to go to his flat the next day so he could begin painting her. Apparently, it would take a bit of time and Paul had put it off for weeks.

"Thank you, Paul." Bella smiled lightly as they stopped on the sidewalk outside the sorority house. The sisters must have cleaned before going to bed, because the yard was as clean and neat as it had been the previous morning. She knew that if a professor found out about the party, they would all be at risk, so she was glad that any evidence was long gone. "You actually made me forget why I was upset." She reached for the lapel of his jacket when his hot hand covered her own to stop the movement.

"Keep it." He offered. As she opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head. "Just until tomorrow so that I know you'll show." He teased with that heartbreaking smile, his hands slipping easily into the worn denim pockets of his jeans. "Besides, it gives me an excuse to see you again." His smile grew at her baffled expression, and before she could recover, he was walking back the way they had come, his long strides carrying him out of earshot before her brain started working again.

Bella had managed to grab food, nap, and sneak out of the sorority house without running into any of her sisters who were undoubtedly sleeping off the party. She had hung Paul's jacket in her closet, caressing the smooth leather before slipping on one of her own. Part of her – the petty part that could only picture Rosalie's smirking face – wanted to wear it to see Edward. Sure, nothing had happened, but she wanted to plant the seed of doubt in his mind. It was a childish thought, one the logical part of her mind overcame. She wasn't surprised to find nearly a dozen missed calls from Edward, and more texts than she could count when her phone was finally powered on. She simply sent him a text that she was on her way. There was no sense in working herself up until they were face to face. Besides, she had promised herself that she would hear him out.

Her heels were white today, accented with tiny black bows that matched the ones that decorated her dress. The faux fur of her coat wasn't nearly as warm as the real leather of Paul's jacket, but it did the job. Her mother had raised her with the belief that to be pretty, one had to make sacrifices. Sure, there were times Bella would prefer just to wear jeans and an old t-shirt (not that she owned either), but she would hear Renee's voice in the back of her mind. _You're going out in that? What if you run into someone important?_ And all hope was lost.

The door to Edward's frat house swung open before she could even knock, his familiar arms wrapped around her middle. "Bella…" He breathed her name as he buried his face in her neck. It was hard to be mad at him when he so openly showed her affection. "I'm so glad you came over. Please… let me explain."

Bella sighed, beating back the small voice in her head that sounded an awful lot like Paul's. "You better explain, Edward Cullen." She frowned and crossed her arms as he pulled away to lead her inside. She sat on the couch, the living room oddly free of bodies. She wondered if Edward had cleared out his brothers.

"Bella, you know how rumors spread at parties like that." He took her hand and she resisted the urge to snatch it away. For all she knew, it _could_ have been just a rumor. "When I went upstairs, I was just trying to get away from the crowd. Everyone saw what happened between me and that _gangbanger_ , and they were jumping to horrible conclusions. Rosalie found me and tried to kiss me. I had just pushed her away when Emmett walked in."

She wanted to believe him. Every word he spoke soothed the ache in her chest that the previous night had caused. Still, Paul's words echoed in her mind _'I was there when your supposed boyfriend flew out of the house half naked with the slutty blonde'._ Taking a deep breath, Bella met Edward's eyes. "Someone said you were half naked when you left."

Edward scoffed, shaking his head and breaking the eye contact they held. "Another rumor. You know I take my vow of chastity very seriously, Bella." She should have believed him, but Paul hadn't given her a reason to doubt him. One thing was clear, and that was that she and Edward needed to get on the same page. "Please, love… you have to believe me."

"I want to believe you, Edward." She breathed as his hand tightened around her own. "But if we're going to continue seeing each other, we need to learn to trust each other. None of this would have ever happened if you hadn't gotten so needlessly jealous and stormed off."

He had the good sense to look ashamed. "You're right." He nodded with a tight smile. "You're always right. I will try to work on that. I know it can't be easy, but I worry sometimes that my vows – the promise I made to my father and God… puts strain on our relationship."

He always had a way of making her feel like the bad guy – like some perv that was simply trying to turn him against his faith. Plenty of happy couples waited until they were married to have sex. Edward's parents had waited, and they were happier than most people. "Paul isn't a bad guy." She sighed as he tensed. "He found me alone after you left and took care of me. He didn't make any passes or say anything torrid. He was just being nice. In return, I offered to let him paint me for his final piece in art class." It was close enough to the truth, at least.

She could see the way Edward's jaw tightened and the way his golden eyes narrowed, but after a moment, he let out a slow sigh through his nose. "Well, I'm happy you were taken care of. If you want to be friends with this… Paul, I can't say I approve, but it's your choice to make." He offered tightly. "You know what they're saying though, don't you? About him and his friends?"

"Weren't you just the one advocating not to listen to rumors?" Bella quipped with a raised brow.

After a moment, Edward chuckled with a nod. "Fair point. So… still love me?" He asked with big eyes – eyes that always did Bella in.

"Of course I do, Edward. I'll always love you." She smiled as he pulled her into his arms, placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"And I you." His thumb ran over her knuckles as they both glanced to their intertwined hands. "One day, Bella, I'm going to marry you. You will be Isabella Cullen, and we will have the perfect life." Perfect. The word should have made Bella's heart sore. After all, she had strived for perfect her whole life, and Edward Cullen _was_ perfect. "You look lovely today, by the way." He offered as he swept her curl behind one ear. "You're still wearing the pearls I gave you for your birthday."

She smiled lightly as her hand went to her earlobe. They caught in her hair and stabbed her skin when she slept, but it made Edward happy to see her wear them. "My mother tried to steal them last time I went home, but I managed to stop her."

He chuckled and kissed her brow. "I'll have to send her a pair for Christmas. Are you sure you won't come home with me during the break?" He pleaded for what must have been the hundredth time.

"I really want to see my parents. I'm their only child, and it's rough on them having me away for so long. You're going to come stay with us for a few days before we drive back here though, right?"

"Of course." He purred as his thumb ran over her jawline. "I love Renee… and Charlie at times." He joked lightly. "And I wouldn't miss an opportunity to see you."

It was amazing how easily they could slip back into some semblance of normalcy – as if the previous night never happened. For all Bella knew, Edward was telling the truth. She had no reason to believe Paul over Edward. After all, she had known Edward for years and Paul for… hours. Besides, she _wanted_ to believe Edward. She wanted to live the perfect life she had built for herself. It had taken years of hard work, and she wouldn't let it be torn away by one night of uncertainty.

Before they parted, Edward promised to cut all ties with Rosalie. It seemed that he and Emmett were still strained, but she was sure he would come around. By now, news of the supposed affair would have spread across campus, so instead of going to the library like she had planned, Bella headed back to her sorority house. She was surprised to find Angela lounging on her bed, a small smile playing on her lips. Before Bella could even ask, Angela tisked and directed her gaze to the unmistakable leather garment that hung in Bella's open closet.

"Sit down, Swan. I want to know _everything_."

* * *

 __ _Author's_ _Note:_

 _So I promise I'll have another chapter of All Roads up soon, I've just been obsessed with this AU. Now that the craziness of the holidays are almost over, I'm hoping to get more writing done. I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but the whole basis for this fic is P!NK's song, Beautiful Trauma. It's amazing, I highly suggest you go check it out to get the 'theme' of this fic! As far as vampires and werewolves and such, I've decided I'm not going to reveal that yet! I want you guys to go on this adventure through Bella's eyes, so buckle up! As always, reviews are loved!_


	3. Chapter Three: It's like we burned so br

**Chapter Three**

 _It's like we burned so bright …_

* * *

Bella's gaze shifted away from her best friend as she hung her coat neatly in the closet, effectively closing the door on the piece of clothing that would no doubt lead to a long night of questioning from Angela. It wasn't like there was anything to tell, but having Paul's jacket in her closet was almost like a dirty little secret. It hung there, stark and heavy next to the pastels that made up her everyday wardrobe. It was almost symbolic, but Bella couldn't quite put her finger on the meaning. It felt foolish to put so much stock into a garment. She had talked to Paul for a few hours, and yet she couldn't shake the feeling that it was important… that _he_ was important. Stretching the ache in her muscles, she sighed as she turned back to Angela, who was smirking quietly as she waited for Bella to answer – a technique she had learned in one of her many business classes.

"Paul found me after I left last night and gave me his jacket because I was cold." She shrugged. It wasn't a complete lie, and if Bella told Angela the whole truth, the younger girl would read far too much into it.

"So you're telling me that Paul Lahote – the one that started the fight between you and Edward – just casually gave you his leather jacket and walked away? He never takes that thing off, Bella. Did you fuck him?" The bluntness of Angela's question made Bella choke on air, grasping for the back of her desk chair as she coughed roughly.

"Geeze, Ang!" Bella shook her head, finally catching her breath. "What kind of girl do you think I am?" She reached for her phone as it rang, her brows furrowing at the unknown number above the text.

 _'Hey, it's Paul. Got your number from Jacob. We still on for tomorrow?'_

Typing a quick 'of course', Bella frowned as Angela waved her hands around. "Did you hear a word I just said?" Her friend asked. When it was clear she hadn't, Angela sighed. "I asked if you and Edward were still together or if you're seeing Paul now?"

"Of course Edward and I are still together. It was just a rumor, Angela. You know how gossip gets skewed around here."

Angela's face was thoughtful as her tanned brow knit in worry. "Just be careful Bella. I don't think _that many_ people would all come up with the same story and all be wrong."

"It's called mass hysteria." Bella attempted to joke. She didn't want to talk about what might have happened with Edward and Rosalie. They say ignorance was bliss, and Bella wanted to continue to be blissful for a while. She glanced at her phone as it buzzed in her hand.

 _'Great! Do me a favor and don't do your hair or makeup. Wear sweats or something.'_

Bella frowned at the message. Maybe he had a specific way he wanted to paint her and he needed a blank canvas? Bella hadn't gone out in public without her hair and makeup done since she was thirteen and Renee took her through 'the steps to womanhood', which was just Renee's way of teaching her how to spend hours on her appearance.

"Is that Edward now?" Angela asked. The guilt must have been clear on Bella's face, because Angela's smirk was back. "Ooooh! It's Paul isn't it!?" She jumped up, quickly grabbing for Bella's phone before she could stop her.

She read over the text, keeping Bella at bay with one arm. Thanks to years of basketball, Angela was a lot stronger than Bella. With a shocked expression, Angela handed her phone over. "Why is he telling you what to wear? Are you hooking up with him to get back at Edward? I love it! I love everything about it! How big is his dick?"

"Angela!" Bella gawked as her face reddened, her phone clutched to her chest like a lifeline. "Paul is an art major! I told him he could paint me as the subject of his final as a thank you for lending me his jacket!"

"Paint me like one of your French girls, Paul!" Angela mocked in a high pitched voice as she placed the back of her hand against her forehead. "Paint me wearing your jacket… _only_ your jacket!" She laughed, nearly doubling over at her own joke and how every word she spoke just made Bella blush harder.

"Hilarious." Bella sighed with a shake of her head as she pushed a still cackling Angela out of her room. "Don't ever speak to me again." Bella joked with a small smile as she closed the door on her best friend. Leave it to Angela to make Bella feel better about her screwed up situation without trying.

Locking the door, Bella allowed herself to slump onto her bed, her fingers flying across the screen of her phone. _'You're not going to make me out to look like The Scream, are you?'_ She didn't realize she was smiling until she hit send. Part of her felt guilty, though she knew she had no reason to. They were just having a friendly conversation, and Paul was a friend… more or less.

 _'You caught me.'_ The instant text immediately brought the smile back to her lips, her guilt forgotten. _'In all seriousness, I just like to paint people without any kind of mask. I want to paint the real Bella Swan.'_ The thought of Paul painting her 'without a mask' made her feel… vulnerable. Even Edward hadn't seen her without makeup. _'So, what are you up to?'_

She wasn't sure how she had lost track of time texting Paul, but it was well past midnight when her phone warned her of a low battery. Texting him a quick goodnight, Bella hooked up her phone and made her way to the seldom used wardrobe in the corner of her room. She was sure she had some workout gear somewhere, but she had given up on her dreams of fitness some months ago. With a sigh, she nervously held the oversized ΑΧΩ sweater at eye level. Why did she suddenly feel… nervous?

Finding Paul's place was pretty easy. Everyone on campus knew about _that_ building – the one for the scholarship students. For the last year or so it had been inhabited by most of Paul's 'gang'. It was an apartment building that looked more like something you would see in the south side of some big city than on a university campus. The only hint that it was even associated with Brigeton University was the small sign on the age-worn brick entryway. The front door was barred and had a lock on it, but upon inspection, Bella could see that it had been broken off long ago. She could almost hear her mother's voice warning her away from the shady-looking hallway as she slowly climbed the stairs to the third floor where she knew Paul's flat would be. Doubt checking his texts to make sure she got the number correct, Bella paused outside of a large metal door that looked like it had to be rolled open instead of pushed.

Clutching Paul's jacket in one hand, Bella took a deep breath as she knocked with the other. At first, she was worried that she hadn't knocked loud enough, despite the cold steel stinging her knuckles. After a moment, she heard Paul's gruff voice call for her to come in. It felt intrusive – opening someone else's door even when invited. Biting her lip, Bella pulled on the heavy bar that acted as the handle, wincing as the door groaned and slid across a rusty track. As softly as she could, Bella slid it closed behind her as her eyes took in every square inch of the place.

The walls were mostly brick with exposed piping and barred windows across the far end. On one side of the room sat a large bed, the neutral gray blanket tucked in tight under the mattress. There were no extra pillows or frills, but it didn't look stiff or old like she would have expected from such a place. Not far from the bed there was an overstuffed burgundy armchair that looked like it had seen several years of use, if the mismatched patchwork along the arm and backing were any indication. It stood proudly next to a small round end table piled high with books and art supplies. The floor around it housed even more books, all on different artists that Bella only half knew.

In the corner opposite the bed, just behind some of the exposed pipes, Bella could make out one of those faux fireplaces that she had seen advertised on late-night infomercials. It hummed quietly, keeping the room warm enough to feel comfortable. "I'll be right out." Paul called from behind the only wall in the large room. If Bella had to guess, she would think that the kitchen and bathroom lay just on the other side. Biting her lip, Bella took a few steps into the apartment, her large brown eyes moving over the other half of the room.

A small desk with a single lamp was pushed into the corner, but it looked more like it was used for art supply storage then homework. An easel covered in various colors sat propped under one of the large windows, a blank canvas fitted to it, ready to go. Bella followed the blank canvas up to the bright one hanging just above it between two of the windows. There were several painting scattered along the walls and leaning against various surfaces. Each one was vibrant and coarse, pulling her further into the room. One was of a couple laughing over coffee, the background a well-organized splash of different colors that made up obscure shapes meant to be counters and shelves. She would almost think it a photograph if not for the raised textures along the entire painting. The next was a woman at a bus stop. Her outfit indicated that she was a maid. Her pristine white shoe dangled from her wrinkled fingers as she cupped her stocking-clad foot with her other hand – probably rubbing away the tension of being on her feet all day.

One by one, Bella followed the paintings down the length of the wall until she came to the large one propped up against one of the nightstands. It was tucked away behind the armchair, obviously in need of a home. Bella's breath caught in her throat at the simple but beautiful image. It was a close up of a man's face, wrinkled and aged, but his features were lifted and softened by his nearly toothless smile. The only bold colors in this one were the frazzled red of his old knitted cap and the bright blue of his eyes that shined through even with the heavy lids he bore nearly covering them. His hair was sparse and wild, sticking up from behind his ears and over the collar of his stained coat. Tentatively, Bella reached out to run her fingers along his cheek – just to make sure it wasn't actually a photograph.

"That's old man Grant." Paul's voice made her jump, causing Bella to clasp her chest as she turned toward him. Her heart rate only increased at the sight of Paul. His hair was a mess, like he had just rolled out of bed despite how neatly it was made. He didn't wear a shirt – which Bella thought on Paul should be illegal. His tanned skin shone and rippled over muscles that before now, she didn't know existed. Each ab seemed to twitch under her gaze as his hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his paint-stained sweatpants. As she caught his sparkling onyx eyes, she realized she had been caught.

A pretty blush colored Bella's cheeks as she turned back to the painting. What was a captivating masterpiece to her just a moment ago struggled to hold her interest now that she knew what Paul looked like standing just behind her. "It's amazing." She struggled to speak, clearing her throat. To Paul's credit, he didn't tease her. "Did you paint this?"

"Yeah, it was last year's final piece." He offered as he moved to stand beside her. Despite the cold, she could feel the heat radiating off of his skin. "He's homeless. He lives under the bypass north of campus. Grant's a good guy. Hits the bottle a little hard, but always has a story to tell." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's amazing, Paul." She breathed, her eyes tracing every wrinkle of the man's face. "I feel like his face tells a story – especially his eyes." She remembered what Paul had said – about being able to see a person's soul through their eyes. With his paintings, Paul could tell the world someone's story. It was remarkable. "He's beautiful." She nearly blushed at her thoughtless words, but Paul simply chuckled.

"Yeah?" He offered as she finally turned to look at him. "I thought so too." It was obvious that he took pride in his work, and got satisfaction from knowing it was appreciated. "Faces like that… they're worth so much more to me than just a mask of pretty."

Bella bit her lip again, remembering how he had put down the idea of painting Rosalie Hale. She hoped her face didn't hold as much character to Paul as Grant's did – at least not for the same reasons. Fumbling slightly, she held his jacket out for him. "I brought your jacket."

"Want to wear it?" He asked, and Bella's mind immediately flashed back to Angela's words. A blush heated her cheeks as an image of being painted in nothing but Paul's leather jacket crossed her mind. "You look cold." He clarified.

"Oh, sure… thanks." She shook the image away as she carefully slid the jacket over her shoulders. It nearly swallowed her whole, but there was something comforting in that. "You really are an amazing artist, Paul." She chanced a glance at his dark eyes again, noting that his jaw was covered in light stubble now. Again, it should have been illegal on Paul.

To Bella's surprise, she could have sworn she saw a light blush painting Paul's cheeks as he chuckled and swiped a large hand through his short yet unruly hair. "That means a lot, Bella." His smile could bring someone back to life – she was sure of it. His teeth were stark white – all aligned perfectly behind plump lips and accented with deep dimples. She was almost sure he could hear how loud her heart was beating. "Should we get started?"

* * *

 _AN: Everyone should have a friend like Angela lol. I was super excited to write this chapter because I'm really digging artsy Paul. When I started, I wasn't sure how I would feel about an AU long term, but I'm seriously loving the freedom I have with some of these characters._

 _I know Bella pissed a few people off during the last chapter - trust me, I'm a 'take no shit' kind of girl, and I can relate. The thing about Bella and Edward's relationship is that in a way... it's abusive. She has this picture of what she wants in her head, and he knows that, so he preys on it. At this point, she and Edward have been together for years, and she just met Paul. She believed Edward because she wants to - because it falls in line with what she thinks her life should be. Anyone that has been in that kind of relationship will tell you that it's not always easy to see or to handle. Above everything, I wanted to make the relationships - the falling in love, the interactions with Edward -_ _everything, realistic._ _I wanted this to be a love story, but I also want Bella to have a lot of personal growth. Paul is going to give her the opportunity and freedom to really find out who she is - an opportunity no one has given her before this point. But, just like real life, it's not going to happen over night. I know it's frustrating, and it will just get worse before it gets better (sorry), but in the end, I think it will all be worth it._


	4. Chapter Four: we burned out…

**Chapter Four**

 _...we burned out…_

* * *

Bella tried to be as casual about this whole thing as Paul was, but he had something to do with his hands. He had cleared the old armchair for her, leaving the stacks of books and supplies scattered on the floor and small table beside it. To Paul's credit, he hadn't tried to pose her or tell her how to sit, he simply told her to sit in the chair. She had almost forgotten that she wasn't wearing makeup until Paul situated himself on a stool behind his now centered easel, those fathomless black eyes moving over every inch of her face. Bella was certain she had never felt more exposed in her life. He didn't speak as he drew some lines on the canvas with a pencil, and she didn't try to make him out of fear of breaking his concentration. Worse than not knowing what to do with her hands, Bella was at a complete loss when it came to where to situate her eyes. She wanted to look at him – a fact that she would never dare say out loud. Even though she had Edward, and Paul was simply her friend… he was beautiful. There was something so captivating about the hard lines and deepness of his face. He should have painted himself – Bella thought as Paul squeezed out several colors onto an old tupperware lid. His face was far more interesting than her own, and she was sure several girls on campus would get into a bidding war over it. The thought almost made her smile, but she held as still as possible. That's what everyone in the movies did when they had their portraits painted, right?

As if he could read her mind, Paul's gaze caught Bella's, the corner of his full lips quirking in a slight smile that only served to deepen the dimples that managed to show through his five o'clock shadow. "Relax, Bella." He instructed, his voice breaking the silence. His voice – Bella thought with a small shiver – was just as dark and alluring as he was. "I'm not going to bite. I don't want the painting to look too posed."

Bella frowned and sighed deeply, running a hand through her hair nervously. "Sorry. I've never really done this before."

"Happy to be your first." Paul's smile stretched wider now, showing off his sharp, pearly white teeth. Even Bella cracked a smile at the joke, shaking her head in mock disappointment. "There really isn't much for you to do. You can read if you want." He gestured to the stack of books with a jut of his chin. "I have a photographic memory when it comes to my paintings, so there is no harm in it." He loaded up the paintbrush with a deep red as Bella scowled.

"You mean that you didn't even need me here at all?" She all but groaned.

Paul's smile was somewhere between flirtatious and guilty. "I get bored when I paint alone." He shrugged as he painted the first line. "And I like your company."

It was a simple statement, one that shouldn't have made Bella's heart race as much as it did. After all, she liked his company too. She watched him as he painted, the muscles in his arm flexing with every stroke. For a long while, he kept his gaze pinned to the canvas that would no doubt soon become a masterpiece. The sight of Paul painting shirtless was something artistic in itself. She could almost see him on the cover of one of those harlequin romance books Renee so coveted. How many women would kill to be in her shoes right now – she wondered as she bit her lip. Even if she wasn't dating Edward, she would be intimidated by Paul. That chiseled jaw… hard body… and those deep onyx eyes that a girl could drown in… it was all almost too much. They flickered to her as his brush paused. Bella should have been embarrassed that she was caught staring, but she was just glad she hadn't been looking at his naked torso at the time. They held each other's gaze for a long moment, and the air seemed to sizzle and pop around her. Was it suddenly too hot in his apartment?

"So, did you talk to your boyfriend?" Paul broke the spell as his eyes moved back to the canvas. His paint strokes growing shorter as he reached the corner.

"Yeah, I talked to him yesterday. He explained everything that happened. It was all a big misunderstanding." She could almost see every muscle in his body tense one at a time. It started in his hand, which halted it's movement. Slowly, it traveled up his arm and over his shoulders. Finally, it settled in his jaw as those deep pools of liquid charcoal turned hard and cold.

"Bullshit." Paul spat, his nostrils flaring. Bella had heard stories of Paul's infamous temper, but hadn't witnessed it firsthand. Even now, as his shoulders gently shook and his arm fell away from the canvas, she had a feeling that he was holding back. "I saw him myself. What, did they fall and he landed inside of her?"

Paul's words stung. Instead of getting upset, Bella's face twisted in anger. "Edward and I have been together for years, I have no reason to doubt him because of what you _think_ you saw."

"I know what I saw, babe." Despite the anger that was slowly clawing up Bella's throat, her spine seemed to tingle at the nickname. "I've done the walk of shame enough to know what it looks like."

"Edward isn't like that! Just because you th-"

"Stop!" He commanded. Bella's already narrowed eyes grew hard as her jaw clenched, as if her body was betraying her and obeying him. "That's what I want to paint..." He breathed as his hypnotizing gaze moved over Bella's face. Suddenly, she wasn't sure the red in her cheeks was from anger.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Her voice nearly lost all conviction as Paul nodded to himself.

"You. Angry." His anger seemed to dissipate as well. "No mask. No decorum. Just pure, raw emotion." He breathed, almost as if he was seeing something he had been searching for. "I think this is the most open you've been with me since we met. Hell, maybe it's the first time you've been open in a long time."

Bella frowned and slouched against the plush chair that was far more comfortable than it looked. "What makes you think you know me so well?" She breathed as he painted with renewed vigor.

"I can see it in your eyes." He spoke in a dreamy tone – the painting holding most of his attention. "You're guarded – afraid."

The words were simple, but they made a lump form in Bella's throat. "What do I have to be afraid of? You?"

He breathed a short laugh as he swirled the paintbrush in the darkening water of a cup he had brought in from the kitchen before grabbing another one. "A lot of people are afraid of me. You're not – I can tell. You're afraid of yourself."

The conviction in his voice was enough to shut Bella up. She was afraid of herself? What did that even mean? She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of asking just so he could explain his half-cocked theory and feel like he had gotten it right. Instead they fell into silence as she watched him paint. They sat like that for nearly an hour, his eyes flickering to her every now and then before moving back to the canvas. Despite the cause for their silent standoff, it was… comfortable. It was nice to feel some peace for once. Living in a house with a dozen or so other girls got tiring, and whenever she was with Edward, he always seemed to fill the silences. Pulling her legs under her body, Bella bit her lip. They were friends, right? That meant that she could ask Paul about himself… didn't it? She was never one to pry or push people into talking about themselves, but an air of mystery seemed to follow Paul wherever he went. She wasn't the only one that noticed, of course, she just didn't expect to see it up close.

"You know… they say you have a temper." She broached carefully, watching his face for any reaction. It remained as still as stone, other than a slight upward twitch of his left eyebrow. He didn't stop painting, but made a humming noise of acknowledgment in the back of his throat.

"What else do _they_ say?" The question was asked in such a way that Bella thought it rhetorical until his gaze found hers.

With his heavy eyes on her, Bella felt her bravery start to slip away. "They say… that you broke your friend Sam's nose… and that you put your father in the hospital..."

There was a pregnant silence. Then, Paul breathed a short laugh through his nose, discarding of his brush in the now black water. "Those are both true statements." Bella was so distracted by the way his abs seemed even more defined when stood and stretched that she almost missed his words. She knew she should have feared him in that moment. After all, if those were both true, then maybe it was true that he and his friends were in a gang. Maybe Paul Lahote was just as dangerous as everyone thought he was… and she was alone with him in his apartment. She _knew_ she should have been afraid of Paul, but he hadn't given her a reason to be. Sure, they had a little spat, but she hadn't been afraid of him in that moment. Nothing about his demeanor had implied that he would hurt her. He looked at her for a long moment before a small smile touched his lips, but didn't quite reach his eyes. "You want to know why."

It wasn't a question, but Bella found herself nodding anyway. "Unless you don't want to tell me." Part of her wasn't sure she wanted to know, but Bella was curious by nature. It had gotten her into trouble more times than she could count.

He moved to sit nearby on the edge of his bed, painting seemingly forgotten for the moment. "With Sam – it was because he betrayed a friend of mine – Leah. She's like a sister to me, and he cheated on her with her cousin. Emily's a nice girl, but I couldn't just let it slide. Of course, if I hadn't punched him, Leah would have done it herself. She's still back in La Push."

The name sounded familiar, and then it dawned on her. "La Push, Washington?" She couldn't help but smile at his nod of confirmation. "I grew up in Forks. My parents are still there."

"No shit?" He laughed at the coincidence. "You mean to tell me you've been twenty minutes away from me my whole life?" The statement seemed more for him then her, but it still made Bella's stomach clench. She wasn't sure why, but her face flushed at the comment. "Jacob and I are driving there for the holidays. You could catch a ride with us if you want. The other idiots are all flying back."

Bella was sure Edward would be strictly against her driving across country with not one, but two men he had warned her away from. "Maybe." She offered with a nod, not wanting to completely dismiss the idea. She _did_ hate flying, and it would save her parents some money. Renee's father was wealthy, and when he died he left everything to his only daughter. Bella had grown up on Charlie's salary, and chief of police wasn't exactly a lucrative career. It still felt odd spending money so freely. "What about your dad?" She asked carefully, regretting it as the smile fell from his face.

"My old man..." He paused, his eyes glazing over with a memory only he could see. "He was a jackass. Put his hands on me whenever there wasn't any booze left." His features didn't look right when they were settled in a hard scowl. She thought one of his teasing, dimpled smiles was much more preferable. "It was what it was, but when he put his hands on my mom..." His voice turned gravely, almost like a growl. "I knocked him out cold, got him locked up for good. Didn't help anything though. My mom decided she'd had enough and skipped town."

Bella knew she should have apologized for asking him to reveal something so personal, but she couldn't bring herself to. She couldn't read eyes or souls like Paul could, but in this moment of vulnerability, she felt like she really got to understand him. "How old were you?" Her whisper cut through the silence and seemed to snap him back to the present.

"Seventeen. So, it's been a while." He tried to shrug it off but she could see on his face that it still bothered him. "It's been five years, that's more than enough time to get over some shit like that."

"There's no time limit on grief, Paul." He looked to her, his expression an odd mixture of shock and wonder. "They might not have died, but you lost them. The grief is still the same. You should allow yourself to feel that for as long as you need to in order to heal."

Again, silence fell between them. After a long moment, Paul cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. The change could almost be felt in the air around them. "I'm hungry. Wanna grab a bite?"

Bella hadn't noticed until Paul said something, but the sun had begun to set. Just how long had she been at his place? The idea of food was tempting, but she didn't want anyone to see her without makeup in what looked to be her pajamas with a man that was most certainly _not_ her boyfriend. "Tempting, but I've got to get back to the house and study." She offered as she stood. She took a step towards the canvas but was cut off by a very muscular chest.

"No peaking until it's done." Paul tisked as he smiled down at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "It's my one rule."

Bella huffed, but supposed she would have to relent on this. "How long until it's done?"

"A week, maybe two. I might take it back to La Push with me and finish it there. I don't have to hand it in until we get back." Paul stared at the back of the canvas, as if he were mapping out how to tackle his latest creation. "Do you want me to walk you back? Wouldn't want you to get eaten by wolves." His words and smile were taunting, hearkening back to the first night they had met.

"I think I can manage." Bella rolled her eyes as she grabbed the bag she had discarded before he started painting. "If… if you want, I can come back tomorrow… so you don't have to paint alone."

Paul's smile was easy as he walked her towards the door, strategically putting himself between her and the painting. "That'd be good." He nodded as he slid the door open, leaning against it in all of his shirtless glory. "Get home safe, Swan. Wouldn't want to have to come looking for you."

* * *

 _AN: I'm so so so sorry this took so long! I get distracted so easily! Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter! We're gonna have some conflict with Eddy-boy next chapter, so that'll be fun! Reviews are loved!_


	5. Chapter Five: I made you chase me…

**Chapter Five**

 _I made you chase me…_

* * *

It wasn't until Bella was nearly home that she realized she was still wearing Paul's jacket. She supposed it wasn't that big of a deal since she would be seeing him the following day anyway, and it _was_ warm. She was halfway up the path that led to the sorority house when she noticed a familiar figure looming on the stairs. Bella had seen Edward angry plenty of times. For a preacher's son, he had a temper. Typically, it was aimed at sports or classes, but it seemed like more and more, she was the focus of his ire. Bella bit her lip as his eyes skimmed over her, his narrowed cerulean orbs finally landing on her face. Once again, she felt naked and exposed… and instantly guilty. How did he always manage to do that? It was a true talent to make someone feel guilty of something that they hadn't even done.

"Hey, Edward." She tried, subconsciously pulling the sleeves of Paul's jacket over her hands. "I wasn't expecting you..."

"Clearly." He closed the gap between them when she reached the top of the staircase. "I knew you were going to see Paul today, so I thought I would come by and see how it went." He nearly sneered as he looked over her features. "If you were going to sleep with him, you could have made it a little less obvious."

Bella's mouth fell open in shock, an odd mixture of humor and anger flooding her body. "I didn't sleep with Paul!" She all but laughed. "Why would you even think that?"

"Your clothes? Your hair, your makeup – or lack thereof. Even I haven't seen you without makeup until now." He spat, eyes on fire. "Though, I can see why..."

Bella clenched her teeth together. She didn't know whether to lash out at him or cry. "You're being a – an ass!"

Edward's eyes widened a fraction. "Since when do you curse?" If possible, the distaste on his features grew. "This Paul is obviously a bad influence on you. You're not going to see him again."

Bella shook her head, exasperated. How had the day gone from being peaceful and nice to – _this_? "Goodnight, Edward. I'll talk to you when you calm down." She moved to walk past him, but his large hand curled around her bicep, sharp fingers digging painfully into the sensitive flesh. "Let me go!" Bella nearly yelled as he turned her to face him. "You're hurting me, Edward!"

"Isn't that what you like? Tough guys?" He sneered, his usually warm eyes cold. "Is that the problem, Bella? I didn't rough you up enough?"

Bella felt fear lock her legs, her eyes wide as his grip grew even tighter. What had gotten into Edward lately? He never used to be like this. Was it her? Was she pushing him to be this… violent? "Let me go..." She tried again, but her voice was weaker.

"I'd do what she says, Cullen." Angela interjected, now standing in the doorway, her trusty bat in hand. "Or I'll make sure you eat the rest of your meals through a straw."

Edwards glare shot to Angela for a long moment before he slowly released Bella's arm. Her feet scrambled on their own towards her friend who certainly looked like she was serious. "Just… stay away from me." Bella managed to breath out as the door was slammed in his face.

Angela was certainly quicker to temper than Bella, so it didn't surprise her when Angela seethed for the next hour. Even when Bella was done showering and changed, she found her petite friend curled up on her bed, a scowl on her angular features. "Does Edward hit you?" The accusation would have surprised Bella only a few hours ago, but after what had happened… It was like she was seeing a completely different side of him.

"No. He's never been violent with me before tonight." Bella sighed as her phone let out a high-pitched ding. Edward had been texting and calling nonstop to try and apologize. "Do you think… I mean, I knew he and Paul had bad blood, but I went over there anyway…"

"Stop." Angela demanded, her hand gently coming to lay on Bella's much paler one. "Don't be one of those girls that blames herself. You could have fucked Paul in front of Edward, and that wouldn't have given him any right to put his hands on you."

Bella blew out a breath, her shoulders slumping. "I know, you're right. But it was more than that, Ang… the look in his eyes. If you hadn't shown up when you did…"

"I think you should just stay away from him. It's a good thing you're friends with Paul. Edward talks a big game, but I think he's afraid of him. Just… don't give him another chance Bella. He's shown his true colors. It'll only get worse."

"Yeah." Bella frowned as she laid down to face her friend. "I think you're right."

Despite having several classes together, Bella managed to avoid Edward. She made sure to surround herself with her sisters, and Edward seemed to stay clear when she was with Paul. He asked on a few occasions if there was something wrong between the two, but Bella couldn't bring herself to tell him what happened. It wasn't Paul's problem, and frankly, she was embarrassed. She had to be rescued by Angela. Being the chief's daughter, Bella had taken self-defense classes since she was five, but every instinct froze when she was confronted with real danger. Now, she was stuck hiding out from her ex like a scared little mouse. The only solace was that without Edward trying to dictate who she talked to, Bella was able to reconnect with Jacob. She agreed to drive back to Washington with them, which lifted her spirits a bit. She spent most of her free time at Paul's place, watching him while he watched her, his skilled hands moving over the canvas with practiced ease. He still didn't let her see the painting, and on the morning of their departure, it was already covered in a paint-splattered cloth and tucked carefully behind the back seat. She wanted to respect his wishes to not see it until he was done, but the curiosity was eating away at her.

"He snores like a buzz saw." Bella laughed as she looked over her shoulder to where Jacob was sprawled across the back seat, his enormous limbs painfully twisted. "Maybe we should wake him up?"

"No way." Paul's eyes darted to the rearview mirror before gliding back to the road. "It's still less annoying than his voice." They shared a quick laugh before lulling into a comfortable silence. There were no shortage of those when it came to Paul – Bella had realized early on. Something about him allowed her to just… exist. "So, Swan. Are you finally going to tell me what happened between you and pretty boy?"

She had been dancing around the subject since the night it had happened. Sighing, Bella ran a hand through her hair. It was down and un-styled for once, tangled from the constant assault of wind. "Edward… turned out to be not who I thought he was. Long story short, he lost his temper and his appeal went with it." But there was still the tiny voice in the back of her mind that wondered if it was her fault. Would she ever find someone as good as he was? Would she ever find… anyone?

Bella's breath caught as the car jerked, swerving into the empty oncoming lane before realigning. "Did he put his hands on you!?" Paul's voice was a booming echo. If Bella's heart wasn't in her throat, she would have had time to marvel at the fact that Jacob remained dead asleep. "Because if he hit you, I'll rip his tiny little pinhead off of-"

"No!" Bella cut him off before they wrecked. "He didn't hit me, Paul. I promise!" Her hand moved to his trembling bicep, nearly marveling at both the heat of his skin and the way it stilled under her touch.

After a long moment, Paul breathed a quick sigh, his dark eyes darting to her only momentarily. "Well it's a good thing you kicked his scrawny ass to the curb. You can do better, babe. Way better." She wasn't sure if it was the realization that her hand was still on his impressive arm, or the nickname Paul seemed so fond of, but Bella felt her cheeks light with a blush.

"Wha-?" Jacob blinked from the back, rubbing at his mouth with the back of his hand. Like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar, Bella snatched her hand back, biting her lip as her cheeks grew even hotter. "Where are we, man? I'm starving."

Despite Jacob's audibly growling stomach, the trio didn't stop for food until three hours later. Jacob was moving from the car to the small roadside diner before Paul could even put it in park. "So I was thinking." Paul's voice stilled her movements before she could join her friend who could be seen through the window practically salivating over the menu. "You should come to the rez."

"Oh?" Bella asked, her brows furrowing. "Planning on getting some painting done?"

"No – well, yeah. Always." The crooked smile he gave her almost made Bella's tune out anything else he had to say. "But I was thinking we could just… hang out." His smile settled into something more gentle – something that made Bella's heart race. "I mean we're friends right? It doesn't always have to be about painting. Besides, I think you'll really like First Beach."

Although the invite was coming from a place of friendship, Bella's stomach flipped at the thought. Sure, it wasn't a date, but it was time with Paul which Bella found she enjoyed quite a bit. "Y-yeah." Her smile was decidedly less captivating than his. "I'd like that."

By the time they reached the table Jacob had selected, it was covered in food, half of which had already been eaten. "Geeze, Jake. What did you do, order half the menu?" Bella laughed as she slid across from him. Only when Paul slid in next to her, his large arm draping over the back of the booth, did Bella realize how small it actually was. She still wore his jacket – something the two couldn't seem to see eye to eye on. She would try to give it back, and he would come up with some excuse for her to hold on to it. Between the jacket and Paul's natural body heat paired with his proximity, the air suddenly felt too thick.

"Hi!" A perky redhead was at their table in moments. "I'm Brenda and I'll be your waitress. Can I get you guys anything?" It wasn't lost on Bella that Brenda only looked to Paul as she spoke. She couldn't blame the girl. Paul was a beautiful man. It was hard not to look at him, especially when he was actually in your league. The jealousy that nestled in her chest was almost alarming. Why should she be jealous of a pretty redhead? Paul wasn't her boyfriend. Up until their conversation a few moments ago, she wasn't even sure he saw her as a friend.

"I want a burger." Paul decided, using the arm that wasn't laid across the seat to hold the menu out to Bella. "And fries. Oh – and those." He nodded towards Jacob's onion rings. "Like three orders of those."

"Big appetite." Brenda smiled, but Paul's dark eyes were on Bella.

"What do you want, babe?" Bella hadn't looked at the menu, too preoccupied with the way the redhead's face shifted colors to match her hair.

"Um… the club is fine." Bella breathed, shrinking into the seat, and unintentionally into Paul's side. Brenda's gaze wasn't exactly hostile, but it wasn't friendly either, and Bella hated when any kind of attention was on her.

Paul's dark brows knit together as he looked from Bella to the waitress who seemed more content to look between the two in confusion than actually take their order. "She wants the club, Becky."

"Right." Brenda's smile was less than friendly this time as she snatched the menus away and turned back the way she came.

"What's her deal?" Jacob asked through a mouth full of food. Bella's nose crinkled in disgust as she handed him a napkin.

"She was trying to flirt with Paul." Bella offered with a sigh, playing with the thin string of pearls around her wrist. "And because he called me babe, she thinks we're together." Bella clarified.

"Was she?" Paul looked genuinely surprised, which amused Bella more than anything. "Kind of a bitchy thing to do." He shrugged and stole a fry from Jacob's plate.

"Redheads are bitchy man. It's like science or something." Jacob said once he finally swallowed his food.

"Obviously you're not focusing on genetics this semester." Bella teased, laughing as Jacob's glare cut to her.

The rest of the meal went a lot smoother than it had started, thanks to Brenda avoiding their table unless they needed something. As Bella slowly ate her club she couldn't help but notice that Paul hadn't recoiled in disgust at her observation, or laughed at the thought of being with her. It was a stretch, and something that Bella didn't want to focus on for too long. Admittedly, Paul was an attractive guy, but she wouldn't complicate the friendship they had formed with some silly crush. Even if she did have a crush, Paul probably just saw her as one of the guys – pet name aside. There was no sense in setting herself up for rejection. Besides… part of her mind was still on Edward. What had gotten into him that night? She wanted to talk to him – to find out what was up with his reaction, but every time she tried to answer one of his calls, Angela would practically slap her phone out of her hand.

"Mind if I take the backseat, Jake?" Bella yawned as they piled back into the car. "I'm wiped."

"Sure sure." Jacob waved her off, munching on a cookie he had ordered last minute. The amount of food these guys could put away was impressive. "We'll wake you when we get there."

Curling up in the backseat, Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Soon, she would be home and would have to tell her mother that her 'perfect future son-in-law' was no longer in the picture… Bella hated holidays.

* * *

 _AN: Angela: The hero we needed._

 _Sorry this took so long guys! I might be moving soon so things are totally hectic here! Special thanks to everyone that took the time to review!_

 _As always, reviews are loved! I'll hopefully have the next chapter up soon!_


	6. Chapter Six: I wasn't that friendly…

**Chapter Six**

 _I wasn't that friendly…_

* * *

Bella's homecoming was exactly what she thought it would be. After a quick, albeit, awkward goodbye to the guys, she was practically run over by her mother. For a petite woman pushing fifty, Renee had some strength in her, and Bella felt every ounce in the form of a bear hug. Charlie, who had never been much for – well, any kind of affection even pulled Bella into a hug. Her mother talked her ear off about the Thanksgiving menu while Charlie carried Bella's bags up to her old room. Coming home was like taking a step back in time. She had half expected her mother to turn her room into a home gym, or for her father to declare it as his own, but no. Everything was exactly the same. Bella's mirrored jewelry box sat on her vanity, her great grandmother's broach hanging over the side from where Bella had left it after deciding taking it to campus would be too risky. The light pink walls were accented with fairy lights and photos that Bella had collected throughout high school. There was even one of her and Jacob at a local block party during summer break. The photos were bookended with her old Forks High pompoms which had seen better days. Across from her bed was her old cheer uniform, pressed and framed per Renee's instructions. Bella hadn't changed much since those days, but she felt like in some ways she had. She couldn't quite put her finger on what was different, but there was definitely something… odd. It was like dark clouds were rolling in overhead, forewarning of a storm that Bella had no idea was impending. The thought should have been unnerving – scary even, but something about the idea of lightning and thunder made her pulse quicken with excitement. Maybe it was time for Bella to dance in the rain.

"Was that Jacob that dropped you off?" Charlie asked in his usual gruff tone as he place her _Louis Vuitton_ luggage set on the trunk at the end of her bed. "He's a good kid. I didn't know you two were still friends."

"Yeah, Jake and I reconnected this semester. His friend Paul drove most of the way." Catching her father's look, Bella smiled. "Don't worry, dad, he has his license." She hoped. At least he didn't show up on a motorcycle, though the scolding would almost be worth it to see the look on her parents' faces'.

"When you said you would be driving home, I thought Edward would be driving." Renee frowned as she ran her finger across Bella's vanity, satisfied when it came back spotless. "Was he okay with you driving with Jacob? Boys can be very possessive, you know."

"He doesn't own her, Renee." Charlie huffed, his thick brows shadowing his eyes. "Bella can get a ride with whoever she wants."

"Actually." Bella nearly held her breath as both of their sharp gazes turned to hers. She would have to rip it off like a bandaid. "Edward and I aren't exactly seeing each other anymore…" There was a simultaneous chorus of 'why not!?' and 'good!'. Sighing, Bella slunk onto her plush mattress. "It just… didn't work out."

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Her mother's face was an impressive shade of red. "Why on earth would you let that boy go? He's charming, and handsome, and his father is a very respectable preacher!"

"Why don't _you_ just marry him, Renee." Charlie bit back dryly before looking to his daughter, his hands crossed over his chest. Despite his constant stern appearance, Bella couldn't help but notice the way his thick mustache twitched up at the corners. "If you don't want to date Edmund, don't date him. I never trusted that kid anyway. No one is _that_ good all the time." Charlie's eyes narrowed. There was something to be said for police intuition.

"It just… didn't work out." Bella offered weakly as her mother started to unzip her suitcases. Renee had always had a bit of an obsession with cleanliness, and it only got worse when she was stressed or angry.

"Well, I think you should give him a call. The holidays are coming up and I'm sure whatev- Bella… what is this?" Renee's nose crinkled in disgust as she held up Paul's leather jacket by the collar – as if it were dirty.

"Oh… that's Paul's." She bit her lip as she silently cursed him. She had given him his jacket back the night before, but he must have put it back in her suitcase at some point. It was almost like a little game for them. Bella would constantly try and return the jacket, and Paul would constantly find a way to give it back to her. "He leant it to me when I was cold. I must have forgotten about it."

Charlie's eyes narrowed as Renee tossed the offensive garment on the end of the bed. "You shouldn't be wearing leather, Isabella. Especially not from some… boy!" She shook her head in disbelief as she riffled through the rest of Bella's clothes, as if Paul himself was tucked away at the bottom. "People will talk!"

"And you say this Paul kid is a friend of yours?" Charlie asked in his 'Chief of Police' voice. "Did he have anything to do with you and Edmund breaking up?"

"Edward, dad." Bella corrected fruitlessly with a sigh. They both knew his name was Edward, but Charlie seemed to get a kick out of pretending he didn't. "And no. Edward and I just didn't see eye to eye anymore." Telling them the truth would only worry them – Bella justified as she stood to take her clothes from Renee. "Mom, I think dinner's burning." She gave Renee a small smile as the woman flew out of the room with impressive speed.

 _Bella didn't remember leaving her bedroom window open, but she must have because her room was freezing thanks to the harsh, Forks winter night. Swinging her legs over the bed, she winced as her feet made contact with the icy hardwood floors her mother had insisted on (because they were easier to clean). Gathering her resolve, Bella stood, only to freeze at the shadow crawling in through her window. Before she could even think to scream, he was in front of her, his large hand covering her mouth. Even in the dead of night, she could see the sparkle in his fathomless onyx eyes._

 _"It's me." His voice was a gruff whisper – nearly too low to hear over the whistle of the wind outside._

 _"Paul?" She breathed his name in much the same tone. "What are you doing here?"_

 _His blinding smile nearly made her forget the circumstances. There was something in his eyes and the way his teeth seemed even sharper with the moonlight bouncing off of them. It was something purely predatory. "I had to see you." She wanted to question why, but the words died in her throat as a strong arm wound around her narrow waist. His body pushed flush against her own – his heat almost overwhelming despite the chill in the air. "We have to stop playing this game, babe." He growled out as his nose skimmed hers, the small action making her heart leap._

 _"W-what game?" Bella's stuttered response was no more than a whisper as her hands came to rest on his broad chest. It was only then that she realized he was shirtless. It seemed like an absurd thing to miss given the Adonis-like state of his body._

 _"The game where we pretend that we don't want to fuck each other."_

Bella awoke with a gasp, shooting up in bed as her heart hammered away. It was so loud in her own ears that she almost missed her mother calling for breakfast. Bella bit her lip as she worked to clear her foggy mind. Slowly, she went over the dream from the beginning. "Oh dear…"

By the time Bella showered and dressed, she had managed to talk her mind (and body) down. It was just a dream after all. Paul was attractive. It only made sense that her subconscious filed that fact away only to haunt her with it later. The most unnerving part of the dream was how crude it was. Bella always thought of herself as a woman that liked well-groomed men. The type that owned at least three suits and had a clear ten-year plan… Paul was certainly not that man. She doubted she had ever even seen him in jeans that weren't ripped.

"What's on the agenda today, Bells?" Her father asked, though his eyes didn't leave the paper as Bella moved to the coffee pot.

"Some of the guys down in La Push are having a party. They said it was a bonfire, but it starts before the sun sets." She offered with a shrug. It was either that or listen to Renee prattle on and on about Edward.

"Are you sure it's wise to be hanging around with that many guys?" Renee asked, her skeptical eyes moving over Bella's oversize sorority sweater and jeans. Renee had never approved of jeans on a woman, but she tended to lighten up come fall and winter when it would be absurd to wear a skirt. "Unmarried women have reputations to protect."

"There will be women there too, mom. 'Guys' is just a general term." Bella bit back a sigh as Charlie grunted noncommittally and flipped the page of his paper.

"We're paying a lot of money for you to major in English. Find a new word." Renee frowned as she pointed to Bella with the spatula she held. Bella pressed her lips together to avoid saying something that would just make the situation worse. "Now eat something before you go. You're looking too thin, dear."

Driving was something Bella had never really enjoyed. Charlie all but had to drag her to the DMV when she was sixteen, claiming that Forks was too small of a town to _not_ drive. It didn't help that all the major places she visited like the school and grocery store were miles away. By some kind of divine intervention, Bella passed her driving test on the first try. Renee bought her a new convertible shortly after in hopes of making driving more appealing to Bella. The car itself had no impact on how she felt, but the actual act of getting away did. There was something freeing about taking the sharp curves through the blanket of low branches on the small-town back roads that was… exhilarating. Come fall, she would sometimes just go out for rides by herself and watch the kaleidoscope of autumn leaves rush by as the wind pushed and pulled her hair. She couldn't remember the last time she drove to La Push, but it was just as freeing as she remembered. After a few harsh stops and over-enthusiastic turns, her body fell into the familiar rhythm.

First Beach wasn't hard to find, then again, it was an ocean. It would have been impressive for even Bella to miss. There were no other cars in the parking lot despite the small crowd down at the shore. Bella frowned at the sight of several boys and men running along the stone-like sand in nothing more than some cut-out shorts. The weather was hardly favorable for what she was wearing, and yet they didn't seem to notice the abrasive wind. Perhaps it was a native thing – to run so hot. The car ride home had been like a sauna on wheels. Shaking her speculations from her head, Bella exited her car just in time to see Paul jogging up the beach to her.

It was funny how easily something could trigger one's imagination. The image of Paul shirtless brought back her dream with some new vibrancy. It was almost like one of those corny movies Renee loved so much. She could have sworn time had even slowed. The minimal sun bounced off his russet shoulders and arms, surrounding him in what could almost pass as a halo. His hair was mused – possibly from the roughhousing she had witnessed when she first pulled up. But none of this compared to the twinkle in those coal eyes paired with a smile that made Bella forget how to breath. She was sure in the short time she had known Paul, he had never looked so carefree.

"Quil started a pool favoring you wouldn't show. So thanks, you just made me twenty bucks." He smiled as he reached her. Remembering how to inhale, Bella couldn't help but match it. Paul's smile – though rare – was infectious. When he was like this, it was hard to believe all those horrible things she used to think about him.

"Why wouldn't I show?" She asked as she pulled his leather jacket tighter around her. She had intended to give it back to him, but it appeared she was the one that needed it. "Nice trick with the jacket, by the way. My mother almost had a heart attack."

"Next time I'll leave a pair of my underwear." He smirked, his eyes twinkling again as she blushed and sputtered. "Relax, babe. It was a joke." He sighed as he threw and arm around her shoulder, leading her towards the crowd. "I don't wear underwear." She was glad that his attention was on his friends so he wouldn't see just how red she was sure her face was.

"Paul!" One of the boys called from by the water, a half-deflated football in his hands. "Stop flirting and get back here! We're getting our asses kicked!"

"Relax." Paul's voice was nearly bored as he turned his gaze to Bella. "Do you mind if I finish the game? If you want me to stay with you, I will."

Bella's crippling social anxiety and her need to please everyone were instantly at war. "Go ahead." She smiled, hoping it was convincing. "I'm sure I'll be able to make it." He gave her shoulder a squeeze before jogging out to meet the others. Immediately, she missed the warmth his body provided.

"You must be Bella." At the call of her name, Bella's head whipped around. The woman was tall – taller than Bella at least. Her hair was pin straight and so glossy Bella almost felt jealous. Her face – well, half of it – was lifted in a smile. Bella tried not to stare at the three jagged scars that covered half of the woman's otherwise model-worthy face. "I'm Emily, Sam's wife." Bella shook the woman's hand, noting that it was nowhere near as warm as Paul's was. Maybe it _wasn't_ a native thing.

"It's nice to meet you." Bella offered, wracking her mind for why the woman seemed familiar. Then she remembered what Paul had told her – about breaking Sam's nose. So this was his wife? The woman that he left Paul's friend for?

"I wouldn't wait on him if I were you." She jutted her chin towards where Paul was tackled into the sand by another large guy. "These boys can get competitive. Usually one game turns into three." She laughed lightly. "Me and the other girls are crawling up on the blankets and trying to ward the cold off with wine that we hid from them. Want to join?"

"That sounds great." Bella breathed with a laugh as she followed her newfound ally. "This is Kim and Leah. Girls, this is Paul's… friend." The way she paused at the word friend made Bella's brows furrow. Had Paul been talking about her? Did they suspect she was something more? Bella was surprised to find Leah there, given what little she knew about the group dynamic.

"Red or white?" Kim asked with a bright smile as she pulled two half empty bottles from under the blanket that was curled around her.

"White please." Bella nearly sighed as Emily handed her a spare blanket to wrap herself in. Bella took the full wineglass from Kim with both hands, wondering if she was expected to drink the whole thing.

"Okay, now it's time for your crash course in who is who." Emily laughed.

One by one she pointed out the men on the beach, sometimes pausing as a couple of them rolled around on the ground. Bella listened intently, not wanting to offend anyone if she got their names wrong. She was surprised to find that one of the buff shirtless boys was Embry. She remembered him from high school, but he was half the size he was now. After an hour of getting to know each other, though Leah didn't say a word, the boys finally called it quits and started piling the wood for the bonfire. With Emily and Kim leaving to fetch the food, that left Bella alone with Leah.

"So… uh…" Bella tried to make small talk, but Leah's harsh gaze cut her attempts off cold.

"Don't do that. Don't try and be my friend." Leah said dryly. She wasn't like Emily or Kim. She seemed so… angry. "We don't have to like each other just because you're dating Paul."

"I'm not – we're not –"

"Stop being a bitch, Leah." Paul's interruption was more than welcome, though his wording was harsh. If Leah minded, she didn't show it. Instead of being angry, her full lips pulled into a taunting smirk.

"Just thought you needed a break, so I took over." She shrugged before hopping up, blowing past Paul who glared at her as she went.

"Sorry about her." Paul offered as he reached down to help Bella to her feet. "Leah's not so bad once you get to know her." They stood like that for a moment, her smaller hands encased in his. She had almost got lost in his intense stare when he broke it with a smile. "I'm almost done with the painting by the way. You should get to see it soon."

"O-oh!" Bella blinked as he finally released her hands. "That's great! I'm sure it'll be amazing."

As the sun began to set, the cold became almost unbearable. Luckily for Bella, the boys decided it was finally time to light the bonfire. Bella sat on one of the purposefully placed logs with Paul at her side and Jacob leaning against it near her legs. Between the fire and their heat, Bella slowly regained feeling in her fingertips. The boys took turns telling stories, mostly to try an embarrass each other. When the food was gone and everyone was borderline comatose from it, Sam Uley began to tell the legends of their tribe. She was sure the group must have heard them a million times, but all eyes were on Sam as he spoke, as captivated as Bella was. The colorful stories of the cold ones and how the tribe descended from wolves was like something out a dark fairytale. She wondered if they had written documentation of their history. That was a book Bella could see herself getting absorbed in.

When the stories were over and the fire was dead, everyone started packing up. "Let me drive you home." Paul offered as his shoved his hands in the pockets of his cut offs. How he wasn't freezing, Bella would never know.

"Don't be silly. How would you get home?" Bella rolled her eyes as they walked slowly towards her car. As much as she wanted to spend more time with Paul, she couldn't ask him to do that.

"Jacob has to go into Forks to see this girl he likes. He can just swing by and pick me up on his way." Paul offered, his smile easy. "Come on, how are you going to say no to this face?" He asked pointing to his pouting bottom lip.

With a defeated sigh Bella reluctantly handed over her keys. It took no time for her to warm up once the heat kicked in, but it took over half the drive to do so. They had fallen into one of their comfortable silences, which was fine with Bella. It gave her time to admire his angular profile that looked even sharper in the fleeting street lights. She had gotten so accustomed to the silence, she nearly jumped when he finally broke it.

"You know, Bella… I don't want to play this game anymore." Bella's heart felt like it would explode as her dream ran through her mind again. What would she do if the next part was… as graphic as her imagination painted it to be? "I like you." He finished, casting her a quick glance paired with a smirk that nearly made her believe he could hear her heart too.

"Y-you like me?" She asked in breathless disbelief. "…Why?"

He breathed a short, airy laugh. "That's a first." He mumbled mostly to himself. "Why shouldn't I?" He challenged. Bella watched in fascination as Paul's face hardened as they pulled into her driveway. Suddenly, the preconceived notion everyone had about Paul didn't seem that farfetched. The angles of his face looked even sharper now – nearly dangerous. His lips were pulled tight in a frown and his brow was dented with deep lines caused by his scowl. It wasn't a look that suited him.

"Paul – wha-" Bella's voice cut off as she followed his line of sight to her porch where a very angry Edward stood. "Shit…" Bella was not someone that usually cursed, but it was out of her mouth before she could even think of a better word. Exchanging a quick look with Paul, she slowly exited the car, holding her breath as he got out too. "Edward?" Bella questioned as he slowly descended the stairs. "What are you doing here?"

"Me?" Edward asked, his sharp eyes cutting to Paul. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"I was invited." Paul said simply in a tone that was nearly menacing. The way he crossed his arms over his bare chest made him look even bigger and more intimidating. "Not that it's any of your business."

"You're slumming it now, Bella?" Edward asked in disbelief, completely disregarding Paul. "I thought you were better than that."

Bella was a timid woman by nature, but the way Edward spoke about Paul made her nerves spark with anger. "Paul is my _friend_ , Edward. And he's been better to me than you have ever been… You shouldn't be here…"

"Your mother called me and asked me to stop by. I assumed you forgave me for our little tiff."

"Little tiff!?" Bella breathed a short, humorless laugh. "You _hurt_ me, Edward! I was bruised for a week!"

"He put his hands on you!?" Paul's outrage was nearly palpable. Suddenly, Bella's anger turned into fear as Paul's form began to vibrate so quickly it almost looked like he would explode. And then… he did… into a giant, silver wolf.

* * *

 _AN: Dun dun duuuun! Wanted to post a longer chapter this time to make up for the last baby one! I wanted some Paul/Bella smexyness, but it was too soon in their relationship so I added that little dream sequence. Special super thank you to everyone that took the time to review! I love reading all of your reactions to the chapters/characters. And a **huge** thank you to my new beta reader MisfitsBelieveInSherlockHolmes! You the real MVP!_


	7. Chapter Seven: My love, my drug…

**Chapter Seven**

 _My love, my drug…_

* * *

Bella had never been drunk before, not really. She knew it was part of the life, but she could never bring herself to get that out of control. Maybe it was all of Charlie's lectures growing up; maybe it was the way that drunk people acted. Either way, Bella was content missing that particular college experience. That being the case, Bella Swan had most certainly never been hung over. She had heard the stories and moans from her sorority sisters the mornings after their parties, and it didn't look like a fun ordeal. Still, Bella had to assume that this was as close to a hangover as one could get without actually drinking. It seemed unfair for her to suffer the consequences without first enjoying the supposed euphoria. Her lids were heavy as she worked to peel them open, failing several times before the dull sway of her ceiling fan came into focus. It was dark out – still dark. She had no idea what time it was, but if she had to guess by the amount of moonlight that fought its way through the constant blanket of clouds, she would say well after midnight. How had she gotten here?

She remembered driving home with Paul… she remembered Edward… she remembered the giant wolf. Bella's eyes squeezed closed as the image replayed itself in her mind. No way. That had to be a dream. She must have fallen asleep on the way home and her wild imagination took over. It certainly would explain why Paul would ever say that he liked her. Pushing her body upwards into a sitting position, Bella tried to ignore the dull throb that coursed its way through her skull.

"Be careful." A familiar voice caused her to jump, her eyes cutting to the unmistakable silhouette of Edward in the plush armchair that had sat unattended in the corner of her room since middle school. "You hit your head when you fainted." He offered as he leaned forward to rest his forearms on his knees, but made no move to approach her. For that, at least, she was thankful.

"Wait…" Bella breathed, her eyes moving over the shadows of her room, as if a giant wolf lurked there. "It… it wasn't a dream?" She nearly whimpered, pulling her legs to her chest as Edward stood and slowly approached her bed. Sitting at the end, he watched her carefully.

"No, Bella. It wasn't a dream." His eyes were sharp and hard, as if he were trying to will her to believe him. "Paul Lahote is a monster."

"It doesn't make sense." Bella's hand ran through her hair, wincing as her fingers moved over a defined knot.

"After Paul changed, you fainted and hit your head. He ran off with his tail between his legs and I carried you inside. Luckily, Renee and Charlie were already in bed. You've got a nasty bump, but you should be fine."

Edward was being so callous about the whole thing, Bella almost wondered if this was all some elaborate joke on her behalf. But she had seen it… seen _him_. Paul had erupted in a ball of snarling silver fur. "You don't seem to be fazed by any of this…" Bella offered as her hands moved over the blanket that covered her legs. Anything to take her mind off the panic attack that was rapidly approaching. "Do you see men turn into giant wolves on a daily basis?" She tried to joke dryly, even as her breath started coming in small gasps.

"Yes." Edward's flat reply caused her eyes to cut to his. She had never seen his face look so… serious before. He looked so uncaring, so… dark. It was like he was a completely different person. "I haven't been completely honest with you. Bella. I didn't want to drag you into this world, but it seems like you walked into it with open arms." His top lip curled in frustration – a look she had seen on his face many times when he was stressed. "My father isn't a minister, and I didn't end up at Brigeton University on accident. My family hunts monsters like Paul Lahote." He let the sentence sink in as his eyes searched her face. She almost wished she knew what she looked like – probably like a ghost. "For generations, the Cullen's have been hunters of everything supernatural. Vampires, werewolves, wendigo, ghosts, witches… anything that preys on humans."

"Wait…" Bella breathed. "Did you say ghosts?" She nearly winced at his exacerbated look.

"Focus, Bella." He sighed. "These monsters – they're everywhere. When I got word from a local hunter that a pack had joined the student body at B.U. I enrolled. I'm actually older than I look, but still the youngest in my family, so it had to be me."

Bella closed her eyes again, as if she could ward off everything he was telling her. It seemed like with every sentence, his words grew darker. All these monsters were real? They weren't Hollywood legends or just stories that parents used to keep their kids in line? Did that mean that Paul was a werewolf? Bella thought werewolves only changed on the full moon. God! It was insane how easily her mind accepted and used the term werewolf! If Paul _was_ dangerous, why hadn't he hurt her? They had been alone enough that he had the opportunity. Maybe he wanted to change her into one too? Was that something he could even do? And Edward… he said his family _hunted_ creatures like Paul. He even lied about his age to get into the same college and track Paul down? But Edward had said pack… did that mean there was more than one werewolf at Brigeton? Suddenly, each one of Paul's friends came to mind. They all had the same build – even Jacob who had been lanky and weak when she saw him last… and then there were the Quileute legends… "So… how old are you really?"

"I'm thirty." He gave her a small smile as she let out a squeak of surprise. "You weren't part of the plan, Bella…" He offered with a sigh. "I wasn't supposed to fall for you. You were just so smart and so unlike everyone else there. My parents even worried you were impacting my mission. I couldn't just walk away from you, but I couldn't be close to you either. I used abstinence as an excuse, but the truth is that it felt unfair to you to be with you physically while there was this big lie between us." His eyes seemed to pierce hers, but he kept his distance. "Then you started hanging out with Lahote… I wasn't sure he was one of them, but I had a feeling. I'm sorry that I lost my temper with you, Bella, but I was angry at myself. I didn't want to bring you into this dark world. I've tried to escape it so many times, but once you're in… you can't get out."

Bella frowned as she thought over what Edward said. He had lied to her… for _years_. When he knew she was in danger (allegedly), he didn't even try and warn her. "Paul… wouldn't hurt me." She almost said it as a question. "He's had plenty of opportunities to, but he hasn't." Her eyes met his, hard and narrow. " _You_ hurt me."

"I know." Edward sighed and raked a hand through his hair again. "I don't know what Paul wants with you, and I've never seen a werewolf of that size. I have to go back home – to do some research on the Quileute wolves." Standing, Edward watched her for a moment before putting some distance between them. "I'll be back in a few days – a week tops. While I'm gone, I think you should stay away from them. They could still be dangerous." He warned ominously as he moved towards her bedroom door. "And Bella-" he paused, seemingly voicing an afterthought "- I'm sorry I hurt you…"

Bella listened to his footsteps trail down the hall until they were just quiet thumps that slowly blended into the howling wind outside. Sitting in the dark with her arms wrapped around her knees, Bella tried to digest everything she had just learned. Monsters were _real_. Edward had lied since he met her. Paul turned into a giant wolf… Paul _liked_ her. So, the last wasn't exactly on par with the others, but it still danced in her mind. Bella was sure she was crazy to get so weak-kneed at the idea of a giant wolf liking her. Before she had time to dwell on the thought, a loud thump caused her gaze to jerk upward, freezing on Paul's dark silhouette.

"I thought he'd never shut up." Paul nearly barked in a whisper, his voice deep and gravely. "Isabella…" He called her name like a lover's prayer as his eyes gleamed, even in the minimal light.

In the back of her mind, a tiny voice told Bella to run. To get out of the house and call Edward back, but a larger part was calm. Paul wouldn't hurt her… she hoped. He had more than his fair share of opportunities, yet he had been nothing but kind to her. "Paul…" His name was a whisper on her lips, and she could have sworn she saw him flinch, his long fingers curling tightly into his palms. "What's going on?"

"Well, your ex explained most of it." Even in the darkness and through the distance, Bella could see the heavy frown that pulled at his full lips. "But he's wrong when he says I'm dangerous. I would never hurt you, Bella… not on purpose." He moved slowly, as if he was afraid he would scare her off. When he was close enough, his fingers carefully extended to brush against her hair, stilling when she winced. "How's your head?"

"It's fine." She lied. It throbbed horribly, and she was sure she would have a migraine for days. Still, the feeling of his hot fingers on her scalp pushed the pain to the back of her mind.

"Don't lie to me, Isabella." She shivered as he used her full name for the second time that night. She usually hated when people called her that, but Paul was an exception. Those talented fingers that could bring paint to life danced across her skin again, feather light this time. "I'm sorry you got hurt because of me…"

"It wasn't your fault I fainted… but… what _are_ you, Paul?" She breathed as he slowly sank beside her, still twice her size when sitting. "I gather your legends are true, but Edward said he's never seen a werewolf so big…" She was sure her possible concussion was the only reason she was taking this all so well.

"We were told we were werewolves. Before I overheard Cullen, I didn't know there were other packs out there – that _most_ of that was out there. We knew about the vampires and witches, but all that other shit?" He shook his head in disbelief. "We've even come across a few hunters before. I should have known that prick was one of them." His sharp gaze, blacker than the shadows of her room cut to her. "You have to know I didn't mean to hurt you. We don't hurt people… not on purpose." He reiterated.

"I know." Bella replied before the thought could even really take root in her mind. But she did. Bella knew in her heart that Paul wouldn't hurt her. "I know you wouldn't hurt me Paul. I don't know why or how I know, I just do…"

Paul frowned, his eyes searching her face for something unseen. "There's more, but I think you've had enough crazy for one night. Will you come by tomorrow? I finished the painting." Despite the tense atmosphere and promise of more to come, Paul's lips twitched in a light smile. "I'd really like you to see it before you decide that you don't want anything to do with me…"

"I'll come by." Bella nodded, simply desperate for sleep at this point. Maybe it would all be a dream after all, though she knew that was wishful thinking. "Like I said, Paul… I might not know everything that's going on, but I trust you." Even though she was terrified of what other horrors would come to light.

His long fingers rose to brush gently across her reddened cheek and tangle through her hair before hooking around her neck. He pulled gently, but surely, stopping when his lips pressed to her forehead. They stayed like that for a long moment, Bella's cheeks red and her heart pounding at the nearness of him. Just as the scent of spice and rain began to lull her into a calm state, he pulled back with a ghost of a smile. "Get some sleep, babe. We'll talk more tomorrow." And just as quickly as he had come, he was gone.

The next morning was fairly normal for Bella, as long as she didn't think too hard about the knot on her head or the fact that she was on her way to visit a werewolf. Her parents seemed completely oblivious to anything that had transpired the previous night, which was just as well. As much as Bella would have liked someone to confide in, she didn't want them dragged into all of this. Charlie would probably try and shoot Edward and Paul both. Renee would faint before attempting to vacuum every square inch of the house. No. It was much better that they stayed in the dark. Part of Bella wished that she was still as blissfully ignorant as she had been just twenty-four hours prior. Yesterday, she was simply a girl that liked a boy that went to her school. If Paul could be described as a boy at all. If Edward lied about his age, who was to say Paul wouldn't? What if he was even older than Edward? Suddenly, she felt very much like the new, younger kid on the playground. Did the others think she was stupid for not seeing it? Did Edward think she was naive to have so willingly walked into the wolf's den despite the warning signs? Should she care at all what Edward thought? That last one was loaded. It was true that Edward hadn't exactly been good to Bella, and that he had blatantly lied to her… but for her own safety. Charlie had always praised Bella for her big heart and ability to see the good in everyone, but what if that was what got her killed?

She tried not to dwell on the thought as she pulled up to Paul's tiny house. He had texted her the address this morning along with some vague directions. Normally, Bella wouldn't go off of such things, as she had a bad tendency to get very lost _very_ easily. But the reservation was small, and the locals helpful enough to point her in the right direction if she managed to mess things up. Luckily for Bella, she had managed to track it down, the simple white mailbox brandishing the Lahote name telling her that she had managed to do something right. Pulling into the driveway, Bella cut the engine to her car, pausing at the silence that surrounded her. Sure, Forks was secluded, but there was something about the reservation that was almost other worldly. Okay, so maybe it was a bad thing given her latest intel, but she wasn't afraid. Bella had never been the bravest of people, and she even surprised herself with how well she had taken everything thus far.

Climbing the two weathered, broken stone stairs that led to Paul's porch, Bella stopped to admire the old windchimes that hung from the overhang. They were aged and rusted, the brightly colored porcelain flowers it wore as a crown dull and tarnished with years of being exposed to Washington's less than sunny climate. It didn't fit Paul, and Bella found herself wondering if he hadn't been the one to put them there at all. Paul had only spoken of his parents once in his apartment, and she remembered that he had said his mom had left. There was anger in his words that day, but his eyes… those heavy eyes seemed… broken. She didn't doubt for a minute that Paul missed his mother. Maybe the windchimes were hers and he kept them up regardless of how much anger he held towards the people that raised him.

Tearing her eyes away from them as they quieted in the stillness of the wind, Bella knocked on Paul's front door, pausing on the second knock as it slowly swung open. "Paul?" Bella called, her voice unsure as she pushed the door open a little more. "Paul, it's me!" She called again, louder this time. The warm scent of rain and spice filled her senses as she stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her. The house was as quiet as it had been outside. No lights were on, but enough entered through the large back windows to illuminate the sitting area. The furniture was mismatched and worn in, but something about the imperfections just made the space seem more lived in. Renee had always sworn by keeping her home up to showroom standards, and at times it felt less like a house and more like a museum. In the center of the room, in front of the abandoned fireplace, were Paul's art supplies.

She knew that she should wait for Paul, but the back of the crisp canvas tucked neatly onto the paint-splattered easel called to her curiosity. Circling it slowly, Bella paused at the image that stared back at her. It was Paul's apartment – at least, a corner of it. The paining was illuminated by the 'light' coming in through the high windows. Dancing in the light rays, Bella could make out tiny flecks that must have been dust. What caught her attention, however, was the portrait of her. She sat in the overstuffed armchair she had grown used to, a book hanging limply in her hands. The detail of those alone was almost enough to make her cry. Each line, each nail… everything was so precise. Her eyes traveled along her own image, following the lines of frizzed mahogany waves that settled into microscopic points on her pale head. Her expression, although not tense was… captivating. Her eyes were shielded under heavy, pinched brows, glistening in a spectrum of brown and gold flakes. Her pale cheeks were flush with a dusty pink that spread over high cheekbones and disappeared behind more curls. Her lips, nearly snarling were pinched tight, but full. The corners of her mouth and crest of her eyebrows were accented with fine lines that showed her ire.

"Jesus fucking Christ…" Bella breathed, nearly jumping out of her skin as her comment was met with a dark chuckle. Spinning on her heels, Bella's wide eyes found Paul's, narrowed with laughter. He stood tall and shirtless, his arms crossed across his broad chest, and his stance relaxed and leaning against the backdoor. How long had he been standing there? Her cheeks flooded with embarrassment at knowing he had been watching her admire his work, and furthermore, had heard her curse.

"Don't be shy, babe. I like my girls to have a bit of a mouth on them." He winked as he straightened, causing Bella's blush to darken. "So… what do you think?"

* * *

 _AN: Sorry this chapter took so long guys, especially since I left you on a cliffhanger! We're in the middle of moving, so things have been hectic here V_V the good news is that we're moving because my husband got a new job! A new job that will allow me to quit my own and write more! So in a month or so, updates should be more regulated! The next chapter might take a little while to come out, but who knows!_

 _Thanks to everyone that reviewed! Just so you guys know, I read every single one of them, and they always make me smile – even the ones that wish Edward death XD_

 _And a very special thank you as always to MisfitsBelieveInSherlockHolmes for being my beta reader!_

 _Reviews are loved!_

 _~AAH_


	8. Chapter Eight: …we're fucked up…

**Chapter Eight**

 _…we're fucked up…_

* * *

She knew that he had asked her about his painting – his breathtaking painting that was as flawless as all his other works, but her mind seemed to sputter at the phrase 'I like my girls to have a bit of a mouth on them'. Once again, she was reminded of the fact that he had said he _liked_ her. Was that the truth? She didn't want to think of Paul as dishonest, but finding out that pretty much everyone she knew had been lying to her… It left Bella a little weary. "It's prettier than me." She replied, almost sounding as if she was in a trance. Forcing her eyes away from his perfect body, she looked to the equally perfect painting. "I don't look that… that _pretty_." She stressed, her mind at a loss for any other word – some literary genius she was shaping up to be. It was more than a _pretty_ painting. It was captivating and haunting. But she _wasn't._ Maybe he had taken some artistic liberty. Like when girls on Instagram used the filters to hide their flaws, though it seemed rude to reduce Paul's talent to something so cheesy.

"Bullshit." Paul spat. She was surprised to find him scowling when she looked back to him. It reminded her of the fight that had inspired the painting – probably the last time Paul had been angry with her. No, not angry. She wasn't sure if Paul had ever been particularly angry with her. More like… annoyed? "Honestly, I don't think it does you justice."

Bella didn't want to argue. That wasn't why she came to Paul's today. She wanted the truth – and she was going to get it… even if she wasn't completely sure she could handle it. "So… you paint flawlessly and turn into a giant wolf. Anything else I should know?" She attempted to lighten the mood, but the guilty look on his face made her forced smile disappear. Oh god… there _was_ more! Did he have a secret family or something? Was he seeing a ghost on the side? The thought was nearly enough to ease the panic rising in Bella's throat. "Oh…" She breathed, defensively crossing her arms over her chest. From the look on Paul's face, she took it that she wasn't going to like any new information he had for her.

"There's one more… major thing." He offered, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. Bella was sure she had never seen Paul look nervous before this moment – not truly. "I have to tell you about something called imprinting."

Bella could feel the tension pull at her face until she was frowning, her arms slackening a little. "Like a baby duck?"

"Something like that." Paul sighed, rolling his eyes slightly. Maybe it wasn't the first time he had heard the comparison. He moved slowly so that they were standing closer together, those deep eyes finding hers and keeping her pinned in place. There was something deep within the rich charcoal that so easily made her brain stop working. Worry? Hope? Fear? Maybe a mixture of all three. Bella was sure she had worn the same expression during finals last semester. "It's something specific to werewolves… or maybe just my pack. I'm not sure after overhearing your shitbag of an ex last night."

"Focus, Paul." Bella offered with a small sigh as Paul's top lip curled back. Her voice seemed to pull him out of it, but that sad look returned. She didn't like that look on Paul. He was much more attractive when he was teasing her, or when he was painting. It was hard to decide which look he wore best.

"Imprinting is like… It's…." He sighed, seemingly unable to find the words. "When a wolf finds someone – not just anyone it has to be a specific someone, like chosen by the ancestors or something. When they find this person, it's like… the world stops. Like a magnet anchoring the wolf to that other person." His hands moved dramatically as he tried to get her to understand. Slowly, she was. "It's like this _need_ to be with that person – to make sure they're happy and taken care of." His eyes flickered up from the floor to meet hers, his wide shoulders deflating. "That night at the party… when you stopped me…"

"You… imprinted on me?" Bella guessed, still unsure about the terminology. Her mouth pulled into a deep frown as she played out the exchange in her mind. It was true that she and Paul had never said a word to each other before then. So… that was why he was attracted to her? Why he spent any time at all with her? Because his _ancestors_ told him to? "So… you like me because you have to?"

"No!" His objection boomed from his chest with a fierceness that almost made Bella recoil. His hot hands on her shoulders were forceful, but not rough. Despite how hard Paul came off, he always treated her like she was delicate… breakable. Maybe to him, she was. Maybe Bella was breakable in general… Maybe she needed to change that. "The imprint made me see you, Bella – _really_ see you. Any feelings we have are real." His voice was an odd mixture of pleading anger. She had the feeling he was angrier at the situation than at her.

"How can you be sure?" Her voice was small as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, still fully aware of his boiling hands nearly searing through her shirt and burning her skin. "How can we be sure that any of it is real? It's not like we ever had a chance without – what? Werewolf magic?"

Paul growled, low and deep. If he wasn't standing so close, she doubted she would have heard it at all. One of his hands moved swiftly to bury itself in her loose curls, those long, talented fingers curling around the nape of her neck. Before Bella's mind even fully had time to put the pieces together, his lips were on hers. Kissing Paul was like catching lightning in your bare hands. The sparks traveled throughout Bella's body, igniting her from the inside and begging her to walk further into the storm. As his soft, full lips pressed down on hers, Bella's hands found purchase on his inferno of a chest. The rumble that followed was more of a purr than a growl, not that Bella could fully register anything other than the pounding of her own heart as his tongue slipped past her lips. This was the point where Edward would normally stop, not that Paul's kiss was like any other she had ever had. As if to prove he was nothing like Edward, Paul's large hands moved down the side of her neck, grazing her chest before joining the other on her hips. She gasped as he jerked her forward, his body proving that he was enjoying this as much as she was.

"This can't be a lie." He growled into the soft skin of her neck between heated, open-mouthed kisses. It was like he was trying to taste every inch of her. "I can't believe for a minute that anything has the power to force me to feel so much for you, Isabella…" Her full name was like silk when spoken in that dark tone of his. She wasn't sure when her hands had threaded themselves through his dark hair, but gripping at the roots was the only thing keeping her body anchored to this world – she was sure of it.

"Paul…" Bella groaning his name elicited another purr in the man twice her size. "If you're going to stop… do it now." She wasn't sure her body could take much more if he didn't plan on seeing it through.

With labored breath and hazed onyx eyes, Paul pulled back just far enough to give her a confused look. "Do you want me to stop?" His hands were still firm on her hips, his thumbs drawing wide circles on the sliver of flesh between her pants and shirt.

"No…" She admitted. She wasn't sure if it was the imprint or just the way Paul made her feel, but the idea of stopping what they were doing was nearly enough to make her cry. "But Edward always…" Even in the heat of what they were doing, Bella's cheeks flamed. "We never…"

Paul's eyes narrowed in thought, a dark shadow passing over his face. "I don't know whether to call him an idiot or buy him a drink." Paul huffed after a moment, trailing his nose alongside hers. "Are you a virgin?"

Bella willed herself to not be embarrassed by the question. She was an adult, and that was a fair adult question when in a situation like this. "No… but it's been a while." She admitted. A small yelp escaped her throat as Paul's hands slid to her backside, giving it a firm squeeze before lifting her, causing her legs to wrap around his narrow waist.

"I'll be careful then." He gave her one of those smiles – the one that she was sure would cure cancer.

"Don't be." She found the words leaving her mouth, a blush finally coming to light as he chuckled, deepening those breathtaking dimples. It was how she felt, though she wished she had been more tactful in voicing it. This passion – this fire… it was unlike anything Bella had ever felt before. She wanted to feel the power of it fully.

"That's my girl." Paul growled with a slap to her butt, catching her lips again as he started moving. Her fingers moved over the contours of his shoulders and arms, reveling in the way his smooth skin stretched over taunt muscle. He was a walking Adonis – a sin in itself. Bella had never been particularly religious, but she had a feeling she would be calling out to at least one deity before the day was through. She gave a small ' _humf'_ as her back met a plush mattress, Paul's sculpted body pinning her to it.

His fingers moved along the dips and curves of her body as the heat in the room seemed to double. Maybe it was just Paul's proximity that made it feel that way. She wondered if anyone had ever gotten heatstroke from sex before – at the moment it seemed entirely possible, not that she was going to say anything to stop it from happening. Her hands moved to Paul's hair again as his head dipped to kiss right below her belly button. When his tongue traced along shallow abs, Bella arched upward, a whimper escaping her lips. His hands led the way north, followed by that tongue that seemed just as talented as the rest of him. Inch by inch, her shirt was pushed up and the exposed skin was doted on. Bella's heartrate tripled when his thumbs ran over the skin just under her bra. He spared her a glance, but Bella closed her eyes before she could drown in those pools of liquid ebony. It was unfair – how attractive Paul was. But Bella didn't want to dwell on it and let self-doubt ruin what was arguably the most erotic moment of her life.

Her eyes were still closed when he kissed her again, the bare skin of his stomach pressing against hers. Her fingers dug into the tense muscle of his shoulders as one of his hands rounded her body, easily unclipping her bra. She would have to learn how to do that… Bella gasped as those fingers that could paint masterpieces found a dusty nipple, pinching it roughly before soothing it with his thumb. There was a ringing in Bella's ears – and it was only after it grew louder that she realized it was her own moaning. Had she ever moaned before? Before she had the time to feel self-conscious, Paul's mouth replaced his fingers. Paul wasn't a man of many words, that much had been obvious about him early on, but his actions… his actions spoke volumes. He worshiped Bella's body like it was a shrine. He memorized every inch and curve before moving onto the next. It was almost too much.

"You're so fucking beautiful, babe…" He growled out, his hand moving southward to rub her through her thin yoga pants. "I could spend my whole life between your legs and die a happy man." The words that should have made Bella blush just added fuel to the fire.

"Paul…" She groaned as she bucked into his hand, wishing that he was inside of her already. "Please…"

"Please what?" He taunted, his voice dark and gravelly. Bella looked down at him just in time to watch him hum as his tongue ran along the front of her pants, the thin layer doing nothing to stop the pleasure she felt. His deep eyes were sparkling as he watched her curl her hands in his blanket, attempting to arch upward but being forced back by his hands on her hips. "Beg for me, baby…" He breathed out, his eyes wild and dark. "Beg for me to fuck you and make you mine."

Bella's breath caught at his brash words. Surly, he was kidding… The expectant look on his face told her that no, he was deadly serious. "Please…" She whimpered as he pinched her nipples again, smirking as she arched into the touch. "Please, Paul… make me yours…" She bit her lip hoping it was enough, but he tisked her.

"How do you want me to make you mine, Isabella?" A jolt shot through her at that smirk on his stupidly handsome face stretched.

"Fuck me," Bella forced the words out, groaning as his body slid up the length of hers. He kissed her roughly, possessing her already. Two could play that game – Bella decided as she thrust her hand between them before she could think better of it. She pushed her way into his baggy cut-offs, only mildly surprised to find that he wore nothing underneath. She gasped as her fingers wrapped around his impressive girth. _Oh my…_ Bella's brain seemed to cease working at that moment. She had expected him to be proportionate, but that… He moaned through a cocky smile that told Bella he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Don't worry, baby…" He breathed as he nipped at her collarbone, his hands moving to push at the waistband of her pants. "I'll go slow."

She wasn't sure speed would be the problem for them, but she trusted Paul. That, and her body was far too gone to turn back now. Once her bottoms were tossed somewhere out of sight, she helped him with his, nearly gasping again at the sight of Paul fully nude. If she thought it _felt_ intimidating, the sheer visual was nearly enough to make Bella back down… nearly. He reached back into his nightstand, leaving her body cold and exposed for a moment as he fished out a condom.

"I'm on the pill." Bella breathed, halting his movements. He watched her for a moment, making sure she was okay with her choice. Birth control was great, and Bella had always said that she would double up on protection by making the guy wear a condom, but she couldn't stand the thought of the barrier. She wanted to feel Paul – every single inch of him. And if she had to guess, that was nine or more. Tossing the condom back onto the nightstand, Paul covered her body with his again, kissing her slowly.

Bella hadn't realized she had missed his warmth until it was back again – and then she felt it… He pulled back to look into her eyes as he alined himself with her entrance, those deep pools of onyx nearly hypnotizing her as he pushed forward slowly. She'd be lying if she said there wasn't any pain, but true to his word, Paul went slowly, his lips moving over every inch of her face as he did so. He breathed quiet apologies and kissed her sweetly as they slowly joined together. And finally, _finally_ he was all the way in.

Bella wasn't sure when the pain stopped and the pleasure began. All she knew that she was that she was nearly screaming as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper and deeper with every thrust. She swore and moaned, and yes, called out to god as he stroked parts of her she didn't know existed. He coaxed her with his body and deep voice to come undone for him – to give in to this high that they both seemingly only found in each other. Paul was right – this couldn't be forced. There was nothing in this world or any other that could ever force Bella to feel this way – nothing but Paul. She threw her head back as she came, his lips finding the junction of her neck and shoulder as she cried his name, pulling him into infinity with her.

They lay like that for a long while, Paul still buried inside of her. His breath was hot and heavy against her neck, and she was sure she was drenched in sweat, but Bella had never felt better in her life. "That was…" She trailed off with an airy laugh, her fingers moving through his hair.

"You can say that again." Paul chuckled, squeezing her waist once before rolling and taking her with him so that she was splayed across his chest. "If this is how all of our talks end, I'll definitely be more open to communication in the future." He joked as he kissed her temple. They would have to finish their talk soon, but for now… this was more than enough.

* * *

 _AN: Whooooa that was not planned! Lol! Paul kind of took the wheel on that one! I noticed in the little tidbits we heard from Paul that he's gonna be hella kinky in the future. Just a heads up in case you want to skip those chapters! Lol_

 _As always, thank you to everyone that reviewed!_

 _Since I'm moving soon and I probably won't be able to post for a little bit, I wanted to give you guys a bonus scene from Paul's POV! Enjoy!_

* * *

Bonus – Paul's POV

* * *

She had no idea how beautiful she was. He could see it in the way she paused at the image of her face on the canvas – hear it in the tone of her voice. He watched the light blush spring to life in the center of her freckled nose and spread outward over pale cheeks. He had nearly been captivated by it when he looked into her eyes at that party… and Paul wasn't a man that was easily captivated. Isabella Swan was… something else. As breathtaking as her beauty could be, there was something more to her. She had fire in her eyes – those warm pools of chocolate and pistachio. He could see it simmering just under the surface, caressing her soul and begging for the air to grow. He wanted to unleash that fire – to see it blaze and burn anyone that dared to put it out. It was moments like this when he could just make out the flames licking the surface; when a brash curse passed through bare lips in a voice so much like a bell, it nearly chimed. She was polished and primped – like the porcelain doll she had been groomed to be. Paul couldn't wait to see the flames scatter and melt away the illusion. He wondered if she even knew about the mask she wore. It had been a part of her for so long… She was more… so much more, and he couldn't wait to watch the phoenix rise from the ashes.


	9. Important Announcement!

I know this wasn't the update you were waiting for...

But it will be coming soon! As most of you know, I recently moved, and have decided to focus on writing. I'm happy to announce that I have launched my own site (sort of)! I am working on an original book! I know that's not everyone's thing, most people are here for just the fanfiction, but if you are interested in knowing about my original work, keep reading!

I have done some freelance before, and even had a deal with a publishing company at one point (you can read about that on my site). When starting this new book, I thought about going through a publisher, but I don't write for notoriety or money, I do it because I love it! Just like on here, the story will be posted chapter by chapter - the first of which should be out before the end of the month!

If you want a synopsis and a sneak peek of _**Widow's Watch**_ , go to: aliceatheart.

webnode.

com

(when will they learn to give us links!?)

Okay, now that I've announced that, you can expect an update to Beautiful Trauma soon! Thank you to everyone still here with me!

~ AliceAtHeart


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